Kopi Date: Ever wondered about your behaviours in a relationship?

Amy Lim Jy
Kopi Date
3 min readMar 31, 2023

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Attachment styles are deeply ingrained patterns of behavior and emotional response that influence how individuals approach relationships. These styles can manifest in various ways and can have a significant impact on how individuals behave in a relationship. Attachment styles have a significant impact on how we approach relationships, and this is no exception when it comes to dating app users. With millions of people relying on dating apps to find love, it’s important to understand how attachment styles affect their behavior and decision-making.

Attachment styles refer to the patterns of behavior and emotional responses that people exhibit in relationships. There are four main attachment styles: secure, anxious-preoccupied, dismissive-avoidant, and fearful-avoidant. People with a secure attachment style tend to have positive views of themselves and their partners, while those with anxious attachment may feel insecure and need constant reassurance. Those with dismissive-avoidant attachment may avoid intimacy and emotional closeness, and those with fearful-avoidant attachment may struggle with both anxiety and avoidance.

When it comes to dating app users, attachment styles can play a role in how they approach their search for a partner. People with a secure attachment style are more likely to have healthy and fulfilling relationships, as they tend to have a positive outlook and good communication skills. They are also more likely to be comfortable with online dating and use dating apps as a tool to find a compatible partner.

On the other hand, people with anxious attachment styles may struggle with dating apps as they may feel a constant need for reassurance and may become overly attached to someone they’ve just met online. They may also be more likely to engage in risky behavior, such as sharing personal information too soon or meeting someone in person without getting to know them better first.

People with dismissive-avoidant attachment styles may find dating apps appealing as they allow them to keep a certain level of emotional distance and control over the pace of the relationship. However, they may struggle to form deeper connections and may view dating apps as a way to pass the time rather than a serious tool for finding a partner.

Finally, people with fearful-avoidant attachment styles may struggle with dating apps as they may feel both anxious and avoidant at the same time. They may be hesitant to share personal information or meet someone in person, and may feel overwhelmed by the sheer number of options available on dating apps.

New research has shed light on the prevalence of different attachment styles among Kopi Date members. According to data collected from 72 participants, the most common attachment style was found to be avoidant, followed by secure, preoccupied, and fearful styles.

Avoidant attachment style was found to be the most prevalent among all participants, making up 36% of the total. This is followed by the secure attachment style at 31.9%, preoccupied attachment style at 19.1%, and fearful attachment style at 12.8%.

When looking at the data based on gender, interesting differences emerged. Among males, avoidant attachment style was even more prevalent, accounting for 50% of the responses. In contrast, females reported an equal prevalence of avoidant and secure attachment styles, both accounting for 31.4% of the responses.

Understanding attachment styles can help dating app users make more informed decisions and approach online dating in a healthier way. It’s important for users to be aware of their own attachment style and how it may affect their behavior and expectations, as well as to be mindful of their potential partner’s attachment style. By doing so, they can increase their chances of finding a compatible and fulfilling relationship through online dating.

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