Discussing ideas vs. Tongue Flapping of Rightness and Wrongness

Whenever politics or policy is up for discussion, I am beginning to question whether to engage in the discourse or not. The “discussions” — if that is what they can be called — go in the following order:

1. How can the following group/politician think that x or y ideas/policies makes sense?
2. Here are the reasons why x or y ideas/policies are right or wrong
3. How does group/politician not understand this?

A great poverty of our times is the loss of discourse — where we are more focused on convincing the other of their wrongness, and our rightness; or, the weakness of their idea/position; or, the superiority of our position.

Disclaimer: I am not innocent of this either.

This type of discussion absolves us from two things: (1) Being authentic about our values/fears/concerns; and (2) Being bigger than our “lizard brain” (i.e. Fight or flight mind)

With this state of affairs, what do you do?

1. Feel the frustration, but don’t become bitter
2. Don’t try to change anyone. Don’t — it doesn’t work and even if you do they will resent you
3. Try to observe/research the broader context, history and trends with as much possible objectivity
4. Try to see how you feel, and what that means you value.
5. Try to see what the view feels, and what they value.

Knowing that inherent views of rightness breads mistrust and disconnection, I am working on this.

Krishan Patel

New York, 2015