the day I woke up from failure….

# Dear Survivor,

It was yet another spring, a day when I was to receive the news which I would not have imagined even in my nightmares. The call came, ‘the results are out’. I rushed out in my ‘chetak’ eager in anticipation. Little did I know what was to come, was a tide of desolation. I, a sincere, hard working, eager, and meritorious student, a guy who the entire world looked up to in my class, my family, my friends, their parents…. had failed in the all important maths paper and in effect failed the board exam. Truth be told, till that day I had no sense of failure, life had been a series of success and here when I was proclaimed to shine, I stumbled and my entire world came crashing.

Followed that was a deluge of self doubt, an utter helplessness of a future forever clouded by this stigma. I couldn’t find the strength to look at the happy faces of my friends around, couldn’t get the courage to go back home and face the expectant faces of pride, of my parents. How could I tell them, ‘I’, had failed. How could I tell them ‘I’ am a reason of shame for them and it will never be the same.

The failure hit me hard, I became a recluse, stayed indoors, away from all my friends, family and was contemplating running away from home. I had worked hard, yet now I was full of regret, full of low esteem, full of a feeling of soul less creature. I was lost.

Then, a few days later, my father got into my room, a place he barely entered out of respect of my rebellion, and told me this, ‘Son, you failed an exam, you are not a failure.’ “I am proud of you, and I will always be.” I had pictured resignation, hate, anger, loathe, abhorrence, sadness. I hadn’t pictured trust, faith and belief.

I woke up that day. And since then, I failed many more times over again, but each time, I said to myself, ‘I failed this, but I am not a failure,’ I had faith in me and each time I came back Reborn. From that one failure, now here I stand working in the Company of my dreams and looking forward to working for my own company made of dreams. All from the faith given to me from my father & all those people who cared, who believed in my Rebirth.

To you my survivor, there’s a father for you too, who guides you, empowers you and gives you the skills to be someone in society. Some one who can shake away the past failures and help you step forward Reborn into the world. A world of opportunities. Kshamata is that father and also the mother who will take care of you and aid you in your Rebirth.

Som!