Ways to help stop comparing yourself to others
Achievements can often feel pointless when someone else did the same task better than you or in less time than you. Maybe both… This is a completely understandable way to feel but you can shift your mindset to stop feeling like this, in turn helping you become a happier and more fulfilled person. All while aiding you in becoming more successful
Make a List of Everything You’re Good At
When we compare ourselves to someone else, we often forget about all the things we do well. We pick out where the other person succeeds in a specific category and how we don’t.
Creating comparisons to others stems from self hatred; the feeling that you aren’t good enough and that you might never be good enough. Loving yourself is the first step in this challenge and one way you can accomplish this is through looking at yourself and seeing what you do well and how it all adds up to create you and how valuable it all makes you. An easy way you can start is to make a list. If you find it hard to list things, remember, it doesn’t have to be that you’re a fighter pilot or Mozart 2. You can list everyday things that make you the amazing person you are.
Things to consider listing is how you’re always nice to those who are left out, how you listen to others well, and how you might have an amazing shower voice. You might realize that your list starts getting really long really fast when you actually try and search.
Reach For Your Own Stars
When trying to find where someone else succeeds where you lack, It’s easy to overlook that they have different goals than you that you two don’t share. You might look at a great author and wonder why you can’t write as well but might not ask yourself, “Do I even want to be a great author?”. If you’re striving for a certain thing in life, it isn’t worth your time comparing how one might do another random task better than you.
Chances are, if you have your own pursuit, you will be better at that specific task than they are. The other person doesn’t totally outclass you because of one thing they are good at. You both have your own passions and own great characteristics.
Don’t Worry About What You Can’t Control
At times, you have to realize that some things are out of your control but that isn’t a bad thing. If you’re 5’2, you might not be the next famous basketball player. If you have a very low pain tolerance, you might not want to be the next Tony Hawk. This doesn’t mean you need to give up on your dreams however, it just means that you might be better suited for certain things better than others. And on the brighter side, there aren’t many of these cases where you might naturally be worse off at. Most things you want to do will be perfectly achievable but just accept that there are certain things that you shouldn’t beat yourself up over just because you can’t be as good as someone else who is simply different than you.
Don’t Underestimate the Hard Work of Others
An assumption you may make when someone is a lot better than you at a task is that they’re naturally gifted or just was able to pick it up a lot faster than you. What you might not be considering however, is all the hard work, time, and consistency that person put into developing that skill. Someone doesn’t simply develop a new mathematical theory in one random Tuesday night, just like someone doesn’t make it to the NFL from slacking off at practice. It’s a very hard process to get to the point of success in many fields so you shouldn’t feel as though you don’t have what it takes just because you haven’t witnessed the journey someone else had to go through to accomplish their goals.
Remember, no matter what others have accomplished, you have a lot to bring to the table. No one is ever better or worse, just different. Don’t let these differences get in the way of you valuing and loving yourself.
