being @fat’s gf
This weekend, I tagged along with my boyfriend Jacob and his friend Guillermo to an event called HackingEDU.
They were asked to come talk to a group of college students, lead a technical workshop, and give a keynote.
From the moment we checked in, I started noticing this weird phenomenon.
I felt invisible to all the attendees.
I stood next to Jacob, watching while he talked to a group of college kids — all hinging on every word he said, eagerly taking notes on their iPhone 6 Pluses about his favorite font (Century Gothic) and hex color (#fff).
He shot me a look when he got asked about the hex color.
I listened as he gave advice to those college kids about what to learn (programming fundamentals) and how to succeed (solve problems you really believe in).
As soon as he mentioned a tool or service, like gulp, a few of the guys in the group eagerly chime in cause it’s something they use too.
They looked at me every now and then, making brief eye contact before deflecting their gaze away, back to the tall man standing next to me.
But I went largely unacknowledged. Even though I know they saw me.
The kid wearing startup swag sunglasses inside who walked right by me to shake Jacob’s hand, holding it a few seconds longer than expected, then asking: “You’re fat, right?”
The kid who you’d think just won the lottery cause he got fat’s email address.
The kid who all but crawled over me as we sat on the sidelines during the closing remarks, scrambling to get a chance to talk to fat — never once saying excuse me, pardon me, could you just get the fuck out of my way.
Jacob put his hand on my leg and gave me a reassuring squeeze.
It’s kind of a weird feeling, being invisible to all these people.
I mean hey, I get it.
I was in their shoes once too — using Bootstrap for every single project in college and then finally having the planets align so I got to meet him in person — idolizing the mythos of @fat, trying to decipher his cryptic tweets to glean bits of his personality. He’s impressive, spouting wisdom, telling his story, inspiring these college students.
I’m just his girlfriend. Of course they don’t see me.
But he sees me.
He sees me being there for him during this event, like he’s been there for me before, helping me with talks for journalism conferences instead of hack days.
The way he’s affecting these kids, blowing their world just by opening his mouth and making sounds, making them feel so lucky and in awe of him — that’s my every day.
I’m fat’s girlfriend.
And he’s my boyfriend.
