Be modern but not too forward. Be feminist but not overtly so. Speak your mind but know when to shut up and defer to a man. Negotiate every part of your identity with the society you live in, so you can live as a woman and still feel sexy and confident in yourself, while remaining integrated into the society and people around you.
Don’t smile so much. Don’t frown so much. Don’t be happy. Don’t be cold. Don’t raise your voice. Don’t be shrill. Don’t be too serious. Don’t laugh too much.
You enjoy being pretty and pampered. You feel more beautiful after you get your eyebrows waxed but your conception of beauty has been defined by the society you live in. A society that sets standards for women to be hairless everywhere — except for your head where you’re expected to have long, luscious locks of hair. But keep your brows in check and make sure to keep that pussy hair under control. Your legs and armpits too. Keep your nails glossy and be the appropriate amount of tan.
You strive to be an independent woman, to buy your own diamonds and to buy your own rings. You’re always 50/50 in relationships, but is there such a thing as 50/50 when you make 79 cents (or less if you’re not white) to every dollar a man earns? There are costs associated with being a woman. There’s the costs of doing housework, cleaning, laundry. You can try to split responsibility and cost for contraception but if push comes to shove, that responsibility is yours to bear. The cost of existing, simply as a woman in society, is higher for you than it is for a man.
Nevertheless, you persist.
