Disconnect to Connect

Sitting down at a restaurant table you notice the young couple sitting at the table next to you. They seem happy enough, but they are sitting across the table from each other, neither touching nor engaging in conversation.

Their eyes are looking downward, completely oblivious to their surroundings. Each has their phone in their hands; one is probably texting, the other possibly browsing through Instagram or Twitter. They are both physically there together, but neither one is present. This scene has become all too common. Whether it be in restaurants, the park, or even in their own living room, couples spend too much of their time together not actually being together.

Technology is great. It allows us to connect to the world with nothing more than the swipe of a finger. It connects countries and businesses, family members and distant friends. It connects us to all the information and fun facts we could ever dream of. Military families are able to communicate with loved ones who are far away, and grandparents in other states can watch the birth of their grandchild. Technology has no doubt benefited the relationships of many.

But this same technology is disconnecting us from those who are right in front of our faces. We become so busy connecting with Facebook friends and staying connected to current news that we often overlook the valuable and needed face-to-face human connections.

Society as a whole has exchanged meaningful and valuable face-to-face human interaction with a shallow and brief interaction with technology. And this exchange is harming relationships.

Brigham Young University released a study on loneliness in March of 2015. Their findings show that loneliness can be just has detrimental for someone’s health as obesity. The feeling of being alone that many experience is not necessarily due to an absence of people around them, but instead due to the absence of meaningful connection.

According to the study that included over 3 million participants and data from a variety of health studies, loneliness and social separation can lead to premature death for those currently under the age of 65.

The study addresses the effects of media and technology on relationships and loneliness, “With the evolution of the internet, people can keep in contact over distances that they couldn’t before. However, the superficiality of some online experiences may miss emotional context and depth.”

The University of California Las Angeles and other researchers have found that humans need eight to ten meaningful touches a day in order to remain emotionally and physically healthy. Unfortunately society has begun to replace human interaction with technological interaction. This connecting though technology, however, cannot provide the emotional support which humans subconsciously crave and need.

Technology has created a society addicted to constant and instant connection with the outside world. In fact, many have become so reliant on their smart phones that they pick them up over 1,500 times a week, that is about 215 times a day.

This type of addiction is dangerous, and according to a Psychology Today article on the impacts of Internet addiction, “Like any addiction, the real cost, for those of us who are truly addicted, is to the number and quality of our relationships with others.”

Just the presence of a cell phone or electronic device can affect how we relate to others during face-to-face interaction. Constantly using a cell phone has left us a society thinking that we are connected to others, while truly we are ignoring the most meaningful connections.

So put your phone away, truly enjoy and observe the present moment and invest in the meaningful relationships and connections in your life.