Internet anonymity: How being anonymous online can allow us to find ourselves IRL
You read that right. I know it sounds like a weird idea. But I believe that online anonymity, specifically on social media, gives you the power to be your most authentic self — or, at least, make progress toward your most authentic self.
Consider for a moment what gets in the way of authenticity. Why is it so difficult to “just be yourself” when being oneself is, by definition, the natural state of existence?
I’m sure the answer has more layers to it than I can understand, but I think it boils down to evolutionary-based social animal instincts. We want to fit in with the pack. We want to be liked. Solitude used to mean death, so our brains are wired to seek out others and do what is necessary to stay with them, even if that requires changing ourselves.
I think conditioning also plays a role. When society dictates right and wrong ways of being, and we see the negative repercussions that befall those who are “wrong,” we instinctively conform. We patch ourselves up and paint on a new face every time we find ourselves falling on the wrong side of the line. Experience this enough times — especially in your childhood, when you don’t know any better — and it becomes hard to unlearn or even question.
So, how do you get around this deep-rooted fear of rejection? How do you find the courage to be yourself? I think this is where online anonymity in the form of online personas can help.
When you are anonymous, fears of embarrassment and judgment virtually disappear. You cannot be tied back to your online persona, so you have the power to be anyone you like. Rules and consequences that exist in the real world don’t exist online. You have the power to do what you want without worrying about how your actions will reflect on you.
Surely, that kind of unfettered power can be a bad thing. In social psychology, deindividuation is the phenomenon of losing one’s sense of individual identity in a group setting, often leading to reckless and violent behavior. Think of the colloquial idea of mob mentality.
Anonymity is intertwined with deindividuation. A group acts as a unit, so people feel that they can’t be held responsible for their actions as individuals. Take away that sense of accountability, and people will do extreme things because they think they can get away with it.
Take these ideas, plop them into the digital world, and you’ve got the online disinhibition effect. The online disinhibition effect refers to how people exercise less self-control in interactions that take place online as opposed to in real life. It explains why the internet can be an extremely cruel and unforgiving place. It also explains why anonymity can feel problematic to many people.
But anonymity can be positively empowering. As I said, the risks of being embarrassed or judged are significantly reduced. Unlike in real life, you don’t have to navigate expectations or worry about making a good impression. You just be.
Even better, you have the space to experiment with who you want to be. Niche communities populate every corner of the internet. When you’re anonymous, you can join and explore those communities without real-life repercussions. Societal expectations, familial judgment, the risk of ostracization — things that often hold us back — cease to exist in these digital environments. You have true freedom to explore your identity.
And if anything goes wrong, you have the ability to “walk away.” You can log off, delete your profile or start all over. In real life, you’re tethered to everything you’ve ever done. Your image and the impressions you’ve made stay with you unless you change your physical location. (And, even then, some things can’t be outrun.) But anonymity affords the privilege of truly starting over. There is no commitment. And that can be a very freeing thing.
I speak from personal experience. I have loved writing for as long as I can remember, but I struggle with showing my work to the people I know. Those close to me believe I have talent, so every time I write something new, I worry that it won’t live up to their expectations. I worry that they will sugarcoat their feedback to protect my feelings. Alternatively, sometimes I write deeply personal pieces, even poems, that are difficult to share with the people who know exactly what I’m writing about.
Anonymously sharing my work on the internet changed everything for me. I was able to receive honest feedback from people who had no personal investment in me or my writing. I was able to write without worrying about how my words would reflect on my identity and relationships. Consequently, I expressed myself more authentically. I became more comfortable with baring my soul through my art.
Rachel Metcalfe, an avid gamer and president of her university’s gaming club, has had a mixed experience with anonymity in the world of online gaming. “At first, I didn’t really like the idea of pretending to be someone different than myself,” she said. “I’m very proud of who I am and my gender, but I do feel safer being anonymous.”
Metcalfe said that, despite the negativity, there is a silver lining. “At first, I was more into gaming as a hobby, but it’s become my life,” she said. “I’ve met most of my friends through gaming and made most of my networking connections because of my passion for the community.”
I understand that online anonymity has its problems. As a society, we must figure out how to balance the need for accountability with the virtues of anonymity. But I hope I showed that online anonymity isn’t just a matter of trolls and free speech. It can also have power in the realm of identity and self-actualization.
