A (Vaguely Believable) Trade Between the Kings and Every NBA Team
A couple notes before we dive right in: 1. For what it’s worth, these deals are all ESPN Trade Machine approved. 2. I have very low-level knowledge about the specifics of NBA trades, contracts, and strategy. 3. Thank you to Basketball Reference and Real GM for the most helpful info. 4. Please don’t take these too seriously, but I do think there are a few gems below. Without further ado…enjoy!
Atlanta — Tiago Splitter and Thabo Sefolosha for Kosta Koufos and Ben McLemore. The Kings get out of one, possibly two years of Kosta in the $8+ million range, plus $13 million in expiring contracts. The Hawks get a solid backup big man and Ben’s expiring. If they like what they see, they can always re-sign Benny…(Spoiler: they won’t like what they see.)
Boston — Amir Johnson for Arron Afflalo. Afflalo and his strangely dominant post moves can help the Celtics with experience and decent defense. Do the Kangz need another big man? Of course not, but this is the last year of Johnson’s deal. Plus, if they want to make a playoff push, Johnson certainly couldn’t hurt…right? On second thought, this trade isn’t even worth doing the paperwork that would be required.
Brooklyn — Jeremy Lin and Rondae Hollis-Jefferson for Darren Collison, Willie Cauley-Stein, and Omri Casspi. The Kings have no long-term answer at point guard. Is Jeremy Lin really that answer? Probably not, but he’s better than a lot of alternatives (20 PER this season). The big sacrifice here is WCS, especially since he’s been showing some flashes of late, but we’re trading one hyphenated last name for another and who doesn’t love a small forward that shoots 21% from 3…yikes Rondae.
Charlotte — Nic Batum, Ramon Sessions, Christian Wood, and Treveon Graham for Arron Afflalo, Darren Collison, WCS and Omri Casspi. Stay with me here. Why do the Hornets do this? Batum hasn’t necessarily been working out as expected and they’ll need cap room to take a shot at another FA. (Nice Marvin Williams contract by the way.) The Hornets get basically $20 million in room and an athletic big with potential on a very friendly deal. Why do the Kings do this? They get a scorer to replace Rudy Gay who they’d have a hard time attracting in free agency. They have a team option on Sessions and Wood next year. The only problem is, assuming Rudy opts in, the Kings would spend $54.8 million on Rudy, Boogie, and Batum next year with plenty of roster spots left to fill.
Chicago — Robin Lopez for Garrett Temple, Benny Mac, and WCS. The Bulls take a chance on Willie and Temple’s steady hand and clear a couple million in cap space. The Kings get someone to rebound all of Boogie’s outside shots. This probably involves a future second rounder from the Kings, by the way.
Cleveland — Darren Collison for Kay Felder. Kings James wants a playmaker at point guard…enter The Bruin Blaster. The Cavs should value another ring over holding on to Felder’s potential and can use Dunleavy or Varejao’s trade exception to make the money work. (Exclaimer: There is a 76% chance I don’t understand how trade exceptions work.)
Detroit — Reggie Jackson for Afflalo and WCS. Normally I wouldn’t ever propose this trade, but rumor has it Detroit discussed trading Jackson for Jeff Green and someone named D.J. Augustin. So clearly they’re selling all of their Jackson stock for cap space, but this deal is even better! Augustin for some unconscionable reason is signed for $7.25 million through the 2019–20 season. Afflalo can easily be waived for $1.5 million, WCS is affordable as heck and is markedly better than this Augustin character.
Indiana — Monta Ellis and Aaron Brooks for DC, Benny Mac, and Omri. The Kings get the “honor” of paying Monta to have a lower PER than his yearly salary (9.8<$10.7) and the Pacers get to mix it up a little because whatever they’re doing now isn’t working. Aaron Brooks gets to continue to play in the NBA.
Heat — Josh McRoberts, James Johnson, and Justise Winslow for Kosta, WCS, and a future second rounder. Before you ask why the Heat would want two bigs when they have Whiteside, consider this: they really have no other viable big men! Justise Winslow has been a mixed bag and the Heat shouldn’t care too much about losing Johnson and McRoberts. This trade happens in a world where Pat Riley accepts that the Heat are in rebuild mode. This trade also likely doesn’t happen in any world.
Milwaukee — Greg Monroe for Garrett Temple, Anthony Tolliver, and Benny Mac. We all know the Bucks have no use for Monroe anymore (or for any of the bigs the Kings have to offer). Temple would be a great fit at point guard going forward, they could waive Tolliver for only $2 million next year, and this is the last year of Benny’s $4 million contract. Pretty decent cap space creation! The downside: the Kings have to figure out what to do with Monroe. This likely involves dealing Koufos and maybe WCS too.
New York — Ron Baker and Mindaugas Kuzminskas for Georgios Papagiannis and Omri Casspi. I don’t know, who cares.
Orlando — Elfrid Payton, Mario Hezonja, and Stephen Zimmerman for Darren Collison, WCS, and a future second rounder. Let’s assume Orlando has given up on Hezonja and don’t see Payton as their long-term answer at PG. They get a good look at DC, who they could potentially sign in free agency, and get an athletic big to pair with Vucevic. (What about Biyombo? Shush.) Realistically this would probably involve a protected first rounder rather than a second rounder, but I don’t even think the Kings can trade their first rounder until they’re approved by a mental health professional.
Philadelphia — Jahlil Okafor and Sergio Rodriguez for Afflalo and a future first rounder. Reference my uncertainty about the Kangz and their first rounder move-ability issues above. Perhaps Vlade somehow gets the Sixers to waive their right to swap picks with the Kings…perhaps not.
Toronto — Jared Sullinger and Lucas Nogueira for Tolliver and Malachi. The Raptors give up on Nogueira in favor of a knock-down three point shooter for their playoff run and Malachi’s potential. The Kings end up having to deal WCS and probably make an inexplicable mistake by re-signing Sullinger in the offseason. THANKS A LOT, VLADE!
Washington — There is literally no trade worth discussing here. Try it, I dare you.
Dallas — Not seeing much here either…assuming Seth Curry is out of the question (we miss you buddy).
Denver — Kenneth Faried for Afflalo and a second rounder. As the 8th seed, the Nuggets probably wouldn’t do this…maybe two second rounders? Perhaps we throw in Skal? Can we just please have Faried?! You don’t need him!
Golden State — Patrick McCaw for Ty Lawson. Much like the Cavs deal, the Warriors just get another veteran player having a really solid year in exchange for a young pup. Boom! Simple as that.
Houston — Montrezl Harrell, K.J. McDaniels, and Kyle Wiltjer for Kosta Koufos. Looking at the Rockets roster construction is pretty damn impressive. I spent a long time staring at it wondering what they need and landed on Kosta. My only other thought was Afflalo, but I’m using him too often so Kosta it is. Just some veteran rebounding a post play for their playoff run. The Kings do it because Montrezl is a cool name and K.J. McDaniels is mildly interesting.
Los Angeles Clippers — Blake Griffin, Austin Rivers, Wes Johnson, J.J. Redick, their 2018 first rounder, and Cleveland’s 2020 second rounder for DeMarcus Cousins, Rudy Gay, Omri, and Darren Collison. Take a deep breath and hold on tight: The Clippers take on Rudy’s contract that he will almost surely opt in to for the god that is Boogie Cousins, and they give up on the Blake experiment. DC helps them with depth for the playoffs, Omri does the same with shooting (though obviously several steps down from J.J.) The Kings immediately flip J.J. to a contender for a 2017 first rounder, take a chance on Blake and suffer through paying Wes Johnson. They like the scoring that Rivers brings and think he can do more with more opportunities. Blake probably exercises his Early Termination Option after the season and the Kings gain a ridiculous amount of cap room (remember Rudy’s $14.2 mil is gone) and they start anew. This route likely ends poorly.
Los Angeles Lakers — Jordan Clarkson, D’Angelo Russell, Larry Nance Jr., and the 2017 top three pick for Boogie Cousins and Omri Casspi. I’m pretty sure you can’t build NBA trades on contingencies, but if you could…the Kings only make this trade if the Lakers garner a top three pick this year. They roll the dice on some young talent on team-friendly, long-term deals and a premier rookie. I actually don’t HATE this deal as long as the Kings also get the rights to Yi Jianlian just for shits and gigs.
Memphis — Chandler Parsons, Vince Carter, Troy Daniels, and Wade Baldwin IV for Collison, Barnes, Tolliver, and Afflalo. Why would the Grizz do this? Because I promise you they’re regretting this whole Parsons deal and aren’t interested in three more years of it. Plus, the haul from the Kings probably helps them more in the playoffs than what they give up. Once their season ends, they can waive Tolliver and Afflalo for only $3.5 million on the books (as opposed to $20.5 mil), DC comes off the books, and Barnes probably opts in at $6.4 mil. Basically, you get all your Parsons cap space back to try again on a free agent. Why do the Kings do it? The chance at an all-star level player in Parsons. The Kings aren’t a FA destination, they would have Parsons locked up, and would have to bet heavily on his full recovery. Vince Carter probably refuses to come to town and is waived. Troy Daniels becomes one of the best shooters in the league (he already is), and the Kings get Wade Baldwin who they should have picked instead of Papa G in the first place. Honestly, everyone kind of wins.
Minnesota — Ricky Rubio, Jordan Hill, and Brandon Rush for Afflalo, Temple, and a future second rounder. Minnesota gives all starting PG minutes to Dunn to aid in his development (and Tyus Jones gets more minutes) and they don’t have to pay Rubio over $14 mil for the next two years. Again, Afflalo likely gets waived, Temple is a steady, veteran hand to help coach up an extremely young team at a great price. The Kings get their long-term answer at PG and have to pay Jordan Hill $4 mil to have outstanding hair next year.
New Orleans — E’Twaun Moore and Quincy Pondexter for DC, Benny Mac, and Omri. Desperate for some cap flexibility after making some truly awful deals (specifically $48 million for Solomon Hill and $34.7 million for Omer Asik), the Pelicans get out from under almost $30 million over the next few years. I guess the real question is, why do the Kings do the deal? Well Moore kills them every time they meet and Pondexter is…good at defense? Yeah! Let’s go with that.
Oklahoma City — Nick Collison and Cameron Payne for Tolliver and Omri. What does OKC need more than anything? Shooters. Here’s two good ones. The only problem: OKC would never give up Nick Collison! The dude has been on the team (or some version of it) since 2003. And for you nerds, OKC uses their trade exception from Ilyasova to make this work money-wise.
Phoenix — Brandon Knight for Afflalo. I don’t think Knight is part of the long-term plan in Phoenix and yet he’s signed through 2019–20. It’s not an outrageous amount of money (an average of $14 mil over the next three years), but probably longer than they’d like to be committed to him. The Kings, however, would have a hard time locking down an above-average player like Knight (plus he’s only 25!) Again, everyone wins…except you for having to see another trade involving Afflalo’s very flexible contract.
Portland — Al-Farouq Aminu and Evan Turner for Afflalo, Tolliver, and Benny Mac. I knew this Trail Blazers season was a disappointment, but I didn’t realize that they have $112 million on the books this year (if basketball-reference is to be believed, and they usually are.) The Evan Turner thing has failed completely and Aminu isn’t essential to the future. The Blazers ship out 67.9 million bucks in future salaries and the Kings take a somewhat wild chance hoping that this year was a fluke for Turner, not last year. Plus, Aminu helps Joerger in his pursuit of better defense!
San Antonio — Kyle Anderson and Dejounte Murray for Omri. I mean, look, the Spurs don’t want anything from the Kings, but if they did, I feel like it would be Omri (is it racist because this is just based on his foreignness?) The Spurs are going to have a tougher time getting past Golden State and, let’s be honest, the only true solution is Omri. Wait, maybe Omri for the Spurs 2017 second rounder? That’s way better. Let’s go with that.
Utah — Boris Diaw for Kosta Koufos. Diaw is playing about 18 minutes a game this year and Kosta is playing 19. Diaw is putting up 8.0 PER and Kosta is at 14.0. Obviously, Diaw is a better passer, but there are more important things that Kosta can do well. Diaw is completely unguaranteed next year and Kosta can serve as a long-term backup to Favors/Gobert and a nice pairing with Trey Lyles and his crazy versatility. The Kings let WCS come into his own and, hey, maybe some dudes named Skal and Papa see the floor in the future.
