Girl In The City — My Version — Part 1
It has been six months living in this city.
Had a lot of unforgettable moments. Made friends. Fewer than imagined but that’s okay. Just those two roommates I have, are enough. The life I experienced here, the independence I felt, the moments when I constraint myself, the way I filter right and wrong, the another/inside me I met here, they are not all unexpected but yet strange. It’s all just getting to know- the city, the neighborhood, the people and myself every passing hour.
I love the life here just like I loved it in my hometown. I love sitting on the roof top with my tea mug every Saturday and Sunday evening. I love laying on the bench in the park with my hair touching the grass on the ground and my eyes staring at the sky with nothing in my mind except that very moment of peace. Whenever I go out with friends at night, I love looking out of car window and letting the wind come to me so fast that collapse all the unhealthy structure of thoughts I have built in my brain throughout the day.
There is a downside of this life too. It’s not all shiny, sparkling pair of shoes. It’s the one that bites.
You can’t trust anyone here. I’ve met a lot of people, fallen in love with most of them- my roommates, my colleagues. Yes!! That’s one of my problems. I get attached to people very easily and then it’s very difficult for me to let them go. At first, I thought everyone is so great here, so kind-hearted, helping & supportive and then, time happened, situations happened and I got to know the real person inside each one of them. No one is as decent as I thought and they shouldn’t be, including me. It’s the price that everyone has to pay to survive here. They don’t have a choice (or so they like to think). Though, it doesn’t mean they are evil. Everybody just responds to the situations in a way that is most beneficial for them and forget about the other people who are also affected by that situation.
People claim and constantly talk about friendship, love, and relationships but everything goes out of the window when it comes to sacrificing something even just a little comfort for that friendship, love or relationship. Love is just sugar-coated empty talks.
Learning to live here is like learning to immune yourself from emotional dilemmas. I am struggling.. a lot. Every now and then I loose control over my emotions and get carried away. Then I curse myself for being too polite or being too friendly or texting or talking to someone first cos then If the other person doesn’t respond back or doesn’t exhibit similar interest. It kind of hurts.
Well, the best part of all this is that your world is fine as long as you are fine. There are so much exposure and opportunities here that no one can ruin you until you let them to. So just keep going and stay you.
