It’s Complicated

Her: Will you miss me?
Him: Obviously!!

It was a text message and was the last good thing she got from him, unaware of the pain that was to follow. She was satisfied, knowing that she had a place in his life and that now empty place will make him miss having her around. It was a consolation for her in the moment of extreme sadness- she was leaving, the place that had brought them together. Her heart has been pounding the whole day. But that last word of his gave her hope that this can’t be how it ends. This can’t be it.

She knew he will be devastated too. She has always felt that only with her, he was comfortable in talking his heart out or being himself- the crazy him you know, just like the crazy her. She couldn’t find out whether it was true or just an illusion and though she knew that place of her in his life will be filled shortly, yet she chose to believe in that illusion as she had always believed in him.

So she could feel it in her chest- the pain he must be in. He had no one to talk about these things- feelings other than her and that worried her even more. He couldn’t handle it- he needed her. She could feel it even though she was miles away from him by now. Kept calling him, texted him she just needs to hear his voice once but he didn’t talk to her, at all. Giving-up wasn’t on the table, yet, not until she knew he was alright.

She got to know that.. in some other way that he was fine, more than fine actually.
And that was her cue. She had lost too much of herself to find a way to him that it wasn’t possible anymore to keep banging a closed door to his heart. She has realized (the harsh way) that he now wants her out of his life. It was his way of dealing with the pain and she let it be. It was time for her to let go.

Months passed, things every now and then still remind her of him. She stops, smiles upon that mixed happy and sad feeling, and moves on.