Alternate Ways to Use Venmo Besides Transferring Money
Published in
1 min readMay 4, 2019
- Search and stalk an old flame
- See who this old flame is hanging out with
- Notice that this old flame has a lot of transactions with some blonde chick
- Realize old flame is romantically connected to blonde chick for all the heart emojis he uses when making transactions
- Contemplate why this old flame ended things with you
- Realize you might have been too clingy or might have texted him too much or asked him if he was mad at you one too many times
- Think of all the possible ways you could have changed to make it work
- Search your friends when you realize old flame is in a new relationship and literally not thinking about you
- See if your friends have been hanging out without you
- Realize two friends went for Thai last Sunday when you said you were busy
- Mope and feel sorry for yourself that your friends hung out without you even though they asked you to join but you couldn’t
- Realize you’re completely alone and it’s just you vs. EVERYBODY
- Turn to LinkedIn to stalk another old flame
