I Really Had to Shit, But Wondered:
Does Matt Damon Have Any Thoughts on the Matter?
The day grew long and the sun headed for the horizon. My worry from early morning now set deep into the pit of my gut.
Should I just go? Would that be okay? What do I do?
I still had no answer. And I didn’t know what to do. I needed help. I was at my wit’s end. I began to have serious concern for my own well-being. Surely this was not something to just be taken lightly.
I consulted doctors, yes. Read the editorial features, in full. Double-checked all the research. Thought leaders had spoken at length on the subject. My family and friends offered various levels of insight and personal experiences. But I still didn’t hear from the one white, Harvard University-attended actor whose opinion really matters.
Matt Damon, what would you do?
Yes, I have spent most of my life just going in a regular, healthy way. But we live in a different world now. In this highly volatile climate, I don’t feel comfortable just making up my own mind on the subject like someone with a developed brain, real scientific data, and informed opinions of my own. I need real guidance here.
I need a guy who won film’s highest honor in screenwriting and decided to put down his pen and concentrate on performing. I need the guy who gave us masterfully complex characters in such cinematic works as Stuck on You, EuroTrip, We Bought a Zoo and Happy Feet Two. Obviously, he knows more than I would about the real world. He has traveled all over it.
He has a wife. He has daughters. He understands women. He knows black people. He cares about water. He is all about breaking down barriers between people and water. Speaking of water, I really must go take care of Number 1 at least.
As for Number 2, I’m holding out to hear what one 5-foot-10, middle-aged Cambridge, Mass whole-hearted, white-bread hero has to say. We should all.
