I’m Not Like Other Girls
I’m not like those “other” girls.
I’m not like other girls. I don’t drink alcohol, only tea.
I’m not like other girls that shop at Forever 21. I only wear oversized sweaters I got at the thrift store.
I don’t listen to Taylor Swift. I only listen to Gregorian chants.
I don’t like pumpkin spice. I only flavor my coffee with Tabasco. It’s actually just more Tabasco than coffee, really.
A fun Friday night is sitting at home reading books, or having intelligent conversations. I’m not like those other girls who only want to party.
I’m not like those slutty girls who’ll just make out with anyone. I only make out with cardboard cutouts of historical figures covered in yogurt.
I’m not like other girls. Every night I take a bath in vanilla pudding. I have a yeast infection.
I’m not like other girls who are all vegan and vegetarian. I love the taste of a nicely grilled piece of human flesh.
I’m not like other girls. I’m not even human. I’m actually an alien that has 10 tentacle arms.
