Ten Things Your Guy Will Love If He Loves Hemingway
Published in
2 min readJun 27, 2018
- If he loves Hemingway, he will love wine bars, microbreweries, regular bars, regional breweries, frat parties, wine stores, liquor stores, bar crawls, and shots, all of which he will attribute to his interest in “culture.”
- If he loves Hemingway, he will love telling you that he thought about joining the army right after college, but decided against it because he was pacifist, and definitely not a lil’ bitch.
- If he loves Hemingway, he will love subjecting you to his poems, which will most likely be interchangeable, sterile haikus about the prison that is his corporate lifestyle. Example: I sit at sad desk. There is more to me than this. I am hungover.
- If he loves Hemingway, he will love minimalism, not just as a writing style, but as a lifestyle, and you will be forced to sleep on the floor of his bedroom, as he will have sold his mattress.
- If he loves Hemingway, he will love talking to you about death, suicide, war, and murder, and will expect you to find him romantic.
- If he loves Hemingway, he will be obsessed with shotguns and insist on perusing the artillery and weaponry sections of historical war museums, but will claim that he is very much in favor of gun control.
- If he loves Hemingway, he will love himself, while also hating himself, while also loving the fact that he is complex enough to love and hate himself, all the while assuming his depth of character is a turn on.
- If he loves Hemingway, he will love the sea, the sun, the fields, and the mountains, and will make you hang out with him in said locations while he’s drunk and sad, whether you like it or not.
- If he loves Hemingway, he will love being white. He won’t say this, but yeah, he will loovvvveee it.
- If he loves Hemingway, he will love you, but only as much as a brooding narcissist can, you know? So really not that much.
