The Best Instagram Model in the World
The day I met an Instagram model and became her favorite lap dog
There are two types of Instagram models: the snarky, passive-aggressive kind that takes themselves way too seriously and thinks they are a gift from God, and the relaxed, chill kind that really just wants to have fun and will sit outdoors in the summer sun and probably share a blunt with you.
Either way, I typically just avoided most Instagram models like the plague. That is, until one day, I met her — the best Instagram model in the world.
Her hair was long and flowing and she had the best resting bitch face I’d ever seen. Her clothes were casual but chic, and she always posed gracefully, with ease. Her skin was flawless because of all the free beauty products brands desperately threw at her doorstep to advertise on her page.
She had all the young, awkward camera dudes in the palm of her hands. Most of all, she had attitude and was never afraid to remind anyone of their place. Including me.
I was just the lowly photographer and the girl that would always be less prettier than her. Without her, I wasn’t shit, even though I had ten plus years of photo experience under my belt. My job wasn’t to just take her photographs, but to cater to her every need. She was the model, after all — the crown jewel of Instagram!
I picked up her dry cleaning, paid for her Uber’s, and paid for her trendy and overly priced outfits. Even when she shared the photos I took of her on her large platform and she never tagged me in the photos once, I never complained and continued to do exactly as she asked. She didn’t owe me anything.
I was hypnotized. I needed her in my life. She made me feel alive and gave my life purpose and meaning. What had I possibly done in life before her? All those other people I ever photographed were just a bunch of nobodies and now I was finally photographing a somebody.
It was no matter that I needed to pay my bills and feed myself, I could possibly never charge her! Every time she needed photos, I was there. Free of charge. She was very pleased and said I was a good photographer. She fed me appetite suppressing lollipops to show she still had room in her godly heart to care.
It was decided early on that I would have to go back to retail hell and work in the women’s shoes department and bend over backwards for difficult customers. But that’s okay, I’ve already had plenty of practice. As long as I had her in my life still telling me what to do and reminding me of my lowly origins, that’s all that really mattered.
Thanks for reading! If you enjoyed this post, don’t forget to clap! ❤