Breaking News: Woman Gets Told to Relax While Holiday Shopping and Surprisingly Does Not Relax

Debra, 31, from NJ got into her car last week headed to the Paramus Mall in …NJ. She started on this venture with the intention of finishing up some last minute Christmas shopping. She washed her hair, put on a fresh pair of jeans and felt a little bit of excitement at the prospect of having lunch in a food court (because she was feeling like a rebel) that day.

Like any working woman she had a plan and knew exactly how she was going to get her shopping done. 1. head to Macy’s 2. get Dad a robe 3. get Mom a robe.

She then headed to her beloved food court to get some Subway. While waiting in line to order, she repositioned her several bags onto her left arm which happened to graze the right arm of a 50 year old graying man next to her. Realizing she touched him with her bags, Debra immediately said:

“I’m so sorry, excuse me.”

The man in turn, sources tell us, grunted and said, “Watch where you are going Lady.”

To which Debra replied, “I did and I said I was sorry.”

To which the graying man said, “Bitch!”

To which Debra replied, “Don’t call me a Bitch.”

To which he said, “This is america I can say whatever I want.”

To which Debra replied, “Maybe in your day, but now you can’t call women that.”

To which he responded, “Lady, you need to relax.”

It is reported that within seconds Debra begins to beat the shit out of this guy with her bags. Sources also tell us that at one point there is a scream and Debra responds with, “It’s just robes you asshole!”

Debra will face public humiliation and emasculation charges but those charges are expected to be dropped because “that guy had it coming.”

Lady-Saurus Comedy

Daily Funnies Written by Women Who Roar + friends

Becca Beberaggi

Written by

Writer/Performer/Tiny Human

Lady-Saurus Comedy

Daily Funnies Written by Women Who Roar + friends

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