Cultivate charisma to open more doors for yourself

Charisma is a powerful thing. The more of it you have, the more doors you open for yourself into the future.

E.B. Johnson, NLP-MP
Oct 11 · 9 min read
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Image by @wilsvanzyl via Twenty20

by: E.B. Johnson

Are you a charismatic person? Do you find that people are naturally drawn to you? Or that you are able to connect with others easily? Charisma is such a powerful tool, but many of us see it as a skill that comes (or doesn’t come) naturally. When we’re plagued by insecurities, it can be hard to see the power of connection within ourselves. The charisma is there, however, just waiting to be cultivated for our greater good.

You can become a more powerfully present person and you can do it for all the best reasons. When we increase our charisma, we increase our self-confidence and our ability to connect and communicate with others. All of these things enhance our overall experience in life and allow us to become better leaders for ourselves and those who matter too. Open more doors for yourself by proactively increasing your charisma, mindfully and with intention.

Charisma opens doors for us.

Who is the most charismatic person you know? Perhaps they light up a room when they walk in, or perhaps they’re a leader you admire in the workplace. Charismatic people are everywhere. We see them in the movies, in politics, and even in our closest friendships. They’re the people we can’t help but to love, and the ones we can’t help but to trust. When someone is charismatic, you’re drawn to them. This magnetism opens doors that we sometimes struggle to imagine.

You can create more opportunities for yourself in any field you want by increasing your charisma. Charisma helps us to unlock our inner passion and connect with others on deeply powerful levels. You are more effective when you can communicate with others and touch them on a level that helps them to see you in a more compassionate light.

When you cultivate charisma, you increase your presence; not just with others, but with yourself too. In order to become the charismatic or joyous person that you wish you to be, you have to figure out your deeper desires and boost your sense of self-confidence and self-worth. Charisma isn’t something that we wear on the outside like armor. It’s a light that comes from within when we find the natural flow in our own lives.

How charisma can benefit our lives.

Have you ever considered yourself to be a charismatic person? Have you ever wanted to be one? Anyone who has been in the presence of someone who knows who they are in turn knows how powerful and attractive that quality can be. It makes us want to open up to them and follow them. It makes it easier to vulnerable. There’s a lot of benefits that charisma can bring to our lives when you get out of our way and allow ourselves to cultivate it.

Increasing presence

Our presence is the way we carry ourselves and embodies our emotions and how we deal with the people around us. Every aspect of your presence has social meaning, and in order to harness its full power you have to develop both your cognitive and sensory awareness of it. When you increase your presence and awareness of self, you increase your awareness of others too.

Enabling confidence

Cultivating charisma also helps us to increase our belief in self. You can’t be a charismatic person without believing in your abilities or what you have to sell to others in the way of business, romance, or friendships. In the same respect, you also must become someone who inspires others to place confidence in you. The confidence that others place in you is an important indicator of their comfort in you and the level of trust they value in you.

Creating more optimism

Imagine a charismatic person you know from TV or from film. When you see them in an interview, do they seem like a relatively positive person? Are they usually looking on the lighter side, or sharing an optimistic story? More often than not, the answer is yes. Cultivating true charisma requires us to shift our perspective, choosing a more positive outlook and way of thinking. In this way, we become more open and encourage others to be more open and trusting with us.

Enhancing leadership

If you are someone who is focused on growing a serious career (or even running a large family) — then charisma is an important part of your leadership journey. The charismatic person is someone who knows what they want and what they believe in. This knowledge of self is both inspiring and encouraging, and makes us want to instill faith and follow along (a necessary part of leadership). Don’t underestimate the power of charisma in getting where you want to be in this life.

Better communication

Charismatic people — above all else — are good communicators. They can express themselves clearly, because they have a clear internal message that they are always in contact with. This allows them to express their desires and experiences to others. In turn, this means that others feel more confident in opening up to them. These clear channels of communication are absolutely critical in designing functional and equitable relationships that open up doorways of opportunity for love, life, and career.

The best ways to cultivate charisma that shows.

Believe it or not, it’s possible to move past your insecurities and embrace your inner charisma. If you want to shine from the inside out, you need to get behind a purpose, tap into your reason for being, and boost your belief in self. Then you can communicate more clearly with others and demonstrate a passion that is easy to believe in.

1. Get behind something

Too often, we float through this life without ever really questioning what it is we believe in. Think of someone in your life that you consider to be charismatic. When it comes down to important issues — do they take a clear stance? Do they seem to be someone who has a general guiding code or light? That’s what figuring out what you want and who you are looks like. Want to be more charismatic yourself? Get behind something and believe in it.

You need to have a cause to rally behind in this life. You need to have a sense of meaning and fulfillment of your own. Without this, you’ll find yourself floating through life at the whim of everyone but yourself. You need to be anchored in the things that make you feel like your life is a worthwhile journey.

Figure out what you want most. It’s not an answer that will come to you overnight. You need to really center on your core self and reflect, then you need to get out into the world and invest in experiences that can bring you closer to your joy and your deeper purpose.

2. Boost your self-belief

When we think of charismatic people, we generally think of those who are optimistic and self-assured. These are positive characteristics that we often desire (but lack) in ourselves. For this reason, we often crave having the charismatic person near — as they encourage us to go further and do more. In order to become that charismatic person you desire to be near, you have to boost your self-belief and shift your perspective and the way you see the world.

Stop looking outward for the confidence to thrive. Stop asking permission from others and stop looking for validation in them. It’s time for you to become confident in who you are and what you want. Believe in yourself and know that you have the skills and strength to conquer anything that life throws your way.

Begin your building process from the ground up. First, focus on your strengths and the hundreds of little victories you manage each day. A great way to do this is by journalling every day and committing to an affirmation practice that works for you. Once you have learned how to celebrate and value your strengths, focus in on your weaknesses. How do they enhance your strengths? How have they contributed to your growth, or made you a better person? Embrace the whole package and see how it makes you complete.

3. Master the art of self-disclosure

Communicating with others is important and forms the basis for all of our relationships. We express our needs through communication, but we also express our emotions and our expectations. In order to communicate better with others, you have to project a persona that’s welcoming and attractive. That starts with mastering the art of self-disclosure, which encourages others to open up and trust you.

Sharing with others actually impacts our brains, and the areas associated with reward and pleasure. We like to open up, but in order to do that we need to trust and be trustable. Exude warmth in order to inspire confidence in others. Share aspects of yourself and encourage them to do the same as they become more comfortable with you.

Being open isn’t always easy, but it’s important. You can’t expect others to share with you if you aren’t willing to share a little about yourself. Every relationship, every interaction that we have, is a delicate balance of give and take. The truly charismatic person is one who can navigate this balance, while making sure that everyone involves feels seen and heard. Don’t just focus on yourself when it comes to be candid with others. Communicate with intention and encourage self-disclosure by being open yourself.

4. Shift your perspective

When it comes to your life and your power within it, perspective plays a massive role. How we see ourselves impacts our behavior and the way we relate to others. Likewise, our perspective of self also informs other people on our boundaries and how they are (and aren’t) allowed to treat us. In order to increase your charisma, you have to change the way you see yourself so that others can see you differently.

You can become the open, communicative person that you’ve always wanted to believe. You can make friends easier and form more effective and loving relationships. Start believing that you are worth all the good things in this world. Look for the positive in things. When your mind goes to the negative — shift to gratitude instead.

The more you learn to appreciate the world around you, the more happy and positive you will begin to feel within it. If you don’t feel comfortable where you’re at, move yourself somewhere new. Surround yourself with people who make you feel good about who you are and what you want. Start seeing your life as something totally within the realm of your control and become determined to live on your own terms every single day.

5. Show passion and drive

What is your passion in this life? What is it that drives you or makes it worth getting out of bed in the morning? Tapping into charisma requires that we tap into our inner drive. When we plug into our meaning, we are energized from the inside out. This inner synergy shines through and attracts others who are equally on the right path to their own happiness and passion. Never underestimate the power of following your truth.

Be a go-getter and show that there are things in life worth striving for. People like to stand next to those who silently encourage them to be better than they were before. They listen to people who excite and interest them, and they look to those who take the initiative to lead the charge.

Find the passion in your life. Find your flow, your zest — that thing that propels you forward and energizes you to get what you want. You don’t have to be a corporate CEO. You just have to love what you’re pursuing and want it from an authentic place. Tap into that intrinsic motivation and connect it to your desires and sense of purpose. Once you know where you’re going, the light and spark of your confidence will be able to shine from the inside out.

Putting it all together…

Charisma is a powerful tool which can open a lot of doors for us when utilized correctly. It enhances our relationships, makes us better leaders, and even empowers us to boost our self-confidence. To cultivate it, however, we have to dig deep and align ourselves with the people, values, outlooks, and experiences that allow us to thrive with authenticity.

Get behind something and align yourself with your true values and purpose. It’s hard to be charismatic when you resent what you do or where you are. Once you figure out where you’re supposed to be, your self-confidence can bloom and your authenticity can come through. Open up to others, master the art of self-disclosure. The more we are trusted (and worthy of that trust) the easier it is to connect and work with others for more enjoyable and efficient relationships. Be attentive. Get out of your narrative and genuinely listen and reflect on the journey of those around you. Empathize with them and connect on a more understanding level. Above all, however, show passion and drive for the life that you’re building. When you’re happy with where you’re at, you’ll attract others in the same state of joy, contentment, stability, and peace.

LV Development

Self-awareness, relationships, and psychology.

E.B. Johnson, NLP-MP

Written by

Certified Life Coach | NLP-MP | Entrepreneur | I write about relationships, psychology, and the growth mindset. Founder @ Dragr LLC. 📱: about.me/EBJohnson

LV Development

Self, relationships and mental health. If you’re looking to make your life better, this is where you start.

E.B. Johnson, NLP-MP

Written by

Certified Life Coach | NLP-MP | Entrepreneur | I write about relationships, psychology, and the growth mindset. Founder @ Dragr LLC. 📱: about.me/EBJohnson

LV Development

Self, relationships and mental health. If you’re looking to make your life better, this is where you start.

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