People pleasing doesn’t work and this is why
It doesn’t pay to cater to the needs of others before you’ve catered to your own.
by: E.B. Johnson
The need to please is imbedded in our DNA, but it can become a burden that’s too heavy to bear when we start living our lives in the service of others and forget to live it for ourselves. While caring for others is a beautiful gift, putting the needs of others before your own can leave you vulnerable and an easy targets for manipulation and attack. Overcoming our urge to make others happy takes time, and it takes a lot of work. More than that, though, it takes some serious introspection.
We seek to please others for a variety of reasons. Some of us have been taught that we’re worthless, while others have learned it through a lifetime of broken hearts. When we forget to pay attention to our own wants and needs, we lose ourselves, and therein lies the danger of people-pleasing. Giving too much of ourselves away leaves nothing for us at the end of the day. You have to learn to love yourself if you want to lead a happy life, and that starts with learning not to give away more of yourself than you can spare.
