Stop trying to change your partner
If you feel the need to change your partner, then it’s time to stop and reassess.
by: E.B. Johnson
Relationships go through a lot of difficulties. In the beginning, things are exciting and new. But it’s not long until the flaws begin to show. Our partners reveal more of themselves and we are left to reckon with it. Sometimes these realizations drive us closer together, and sometimes they bring out an unhealthy desire to “fix” or change our partners in a number of ways. That’s not how good partnerships are built, however. We can’t change our partners and we shouldn’t even try.
Signs you’re trying to change them.
Are you trying to change your partner? It’s not always as obvious as we think it is. Whether you’re playing counselor or setting endless conditions — when you try to make your partner into something different, you’re trying to change them.
Playing counselor
The change game doesn’t always play out through control or domination. More often than not, it starts with empathy. You may think you can “therapy” your partner into being a better person — which is a desire to change them masked as altruism. This isn’t just an emotional act. It can also manifest as acting as a…