The Magic Word
The world has gone mad. Everyone agrees that 2020 hasn’t been a fantastic year. A global pandemic, terrorist attacks, the economic collapse. But another revolution, much slower, less violent yet equally pernicious, should also set our alarm bells ringing: the lack of courtesy and compassion in the work environment.
We’re scared. We’re tired. We’re tense. And for good reason — what a year! This second lockdown has killed off any small hope we had this summer of getting back to a somewhat normal life. And the fact that we are now in November doesn’t exactly improve the general mood. Okay! So none of this is breaking news. However, what is new (and rather worrisome) is the direct consequence of being under continuous pressure. Our social interactions are becoming increasingly cold, due to our need to offload onto our daily contacts — work colleagues, contractors, partners. Do we really not have the time to say “hello”, “thank you” or “goodbye” anymore?
Are we really going to sacrifice our good manners to this crisis? If we’re not careful, hostility and pressure will become the norm in our daily interactions…and what will we be left with then?
The unbearable pressure in the workplace
Monday morning, 9h15, first mail: no “hello”, no “how’s it going?”, just a pressing order or criticism. “This is urgent”, “Why isn’t this already done?”. A pleasant way to start the week, right? First text message of the day, and once again, no “hello”. No time. “Can you take care of this”, “Yes”, end of conversation. You may have spent the best of weekends, but all that’s forgotten as soon as you read a few work messages. However, the consequence of all this won’t have the desired effect. An unfriendly work environment rarely leads to better work performances. In a 2014 study, it was already noted that 75 % of employees stated that their work productivity was affected by a lack of courtesy*. With people working remotely, the loss of regular contact has only contributed to increasing this general trend.
The problem is that we are entering into a vicious circle of impoliteness: our uncertain economy puts pressure on company executives, who then put pressure on their employees, who in turn put pressure on their contractors, who spread the pressure internally to their next point of contact. The direct consequence? We speak harshly to each other, we’re miserable and our motivation is likely to suffer. No one is responsible per se, but ultimately, we’re all guilty of this deterioration in the work environment — and that’s a pity. There are enough real problems in this world without adding unnecessary angst in areas where we spend most of our time.
In the end, this latent passive aggressive behavior impacts us all: who would want to give their all to someone who talks them down? And does grousing at someone via email or whatsapp really improve our situation?
The irresistible yearning to smile
The beauty of courtesy resides in its’ simplicity, but also in its’ universal nature. Truth be told, all we need to do is follow an age-old concept known as the Golden Rule which prevailed back in Ancient Greece: “Treat others the way you want to be treated yourself”. There you have it, no more, no less. But the ROI (which is crucial in the business world) of an empathetic email is immediate — a positive response, less tension and even — who knows — a smile!
There is countless evidence that laughing helps release stress. There is even such as thing as laughter therapy. So why not transpose this idea at work with “courtesy-therapy”? Your team won’t let up its’ efforts just because your email includes a smiley or because you crack a joke in a meeting. Quite the contrary! We are naturally more inclined to want to please those who value our work.
Try it out: set yourself a small challenge for your next email/slack/whatsapp/call and ask yourself three questions: “Do you really not have the time to answer an email with a simple “thank you”?” “Would it really cost you to say “please” (okay, we’ll even grant you a “pls”)?” “Does your correspondent deserve that tone, and will it really help you move towards your objectives any faster?”. It may not change the world, but it’ll certainly lift the general mood. And that’s already a great start.
In a situation where we have very little room for maneuver to change anything at all, we must cling to every action we can carry out ourselves. It is in our power to treat each other well and not let ourselves become undermined by anxiety. Politeness will be our rebellion against 2020 — and isn’t that a good feeling?
*https://www.eleas.fr/enquetes-eleas-les-incivilites-au-travail-le-vecu-des-francais-suite/
