Dear Harper and the Heartbreaking In-Between
Dear Harper (the future rebellious teenage daughter),
Is it too early to tell you about heartbreak? Hopefully not. Because when you’re older, you’ll listen to Cat Power’s The Greatest or read Flowers for Algernon and it’ll give you somewhat of an idea. But just in case, here’s your letter about it.
Heartbreak is, without a doubt, one of the only things in this life that you’ll never see coming. It is sneaky and unfair, cheap, trivial and awful (and I have more colorful adult adjectives for it too, don’t worry). It’s an annoying sixth grader who knows your worst secrets and spreads them through the playground. It’s a bad dream of insecurity that sometimes takes months or years to recover from. And the best part? Everyone on this planet goes through it (except for maybe the Dalai Lama). But for the most part, no one can escape heartbreak. Not even Taylor Swift.
So how does something so unavoidable take place? It’s simple. When you grow up you will fall in love (this is a long way off and I haven’t hired a PI to tail the guy yet). This part of your life will be insanely romantic and terrifying all at once and you’ll look to the past to try and figure it out. You’ll ask David Bowie, Cameron Crowe, and F. Scott Fitzgerald for advice and they’ll all give you different answers. Maybe you’ll write about it and swoon or keep it secret to savor. Either way, films and fiction novels and music (like The Greatest) will prepare you for some of it, but the rest will be up to you to navigate. You can read all the Nora Ephron in the world, but even that woman was married three times.
Then it will continue, end, or continues until it ends. Sometimes it’ll be with balance. Sometimes with angry texts or drunken phone calls. But in case you get hurt, here’s what you need to know, Harp.
Without heartbreak you’ll never be vulnerable. If it didn’t exist in the world, everyone would just be a black and white Pleasantville robot without color. Heartbreak isn’t nice, but it’s ironically necessary. And you’ll be a wiser person for having gone through it. Just remember the following:
- There will be boys that break your heart.
- There will be times you’ll feel crappy because of crushes and gossip and social media because sometimes men can be cruel and women can be ruthless (like the plastics).
- There will be times when you’ll worry that your heart is feeling too much or not enough and then you’ll get frightened because the difference will scare you.
- You’ll get very tired. You’ll get tired of seeing girls kiss the boys you like and you’ll get tired of boys who can’t see the best thing that’s right in front of them. It’ll wear on you on a little.
-All of this won’t matter because if it does happen, I’ll lip-sync Drops of Jupiter by Train for you until you smile
You should know that in the year 2015, people are on their phones trying to find their life partner. They ask their friends to take pictures of themselves on beaches and in bungalows, at premiere parties and on trendy vacations. They pose and smile and take selfies and find the perfect filters for them because there’s nothing more Millennials love than making others jealous about their life. And to answer your question — of course I do it — your father is actually pretty good at it. But one of the biggest reasons we do this is because we’ve all had our hearts broken at some point, and we know that somewhere out there (or so we think), the shitty person who did it is still keeping track of us. And the craziest thing is? They usually are.
I hope I’m not making my generation sound too crazy. I mean we are — but we do some things really well. We make really good Spotify playlists.
So tonight dear daughter, I’m writing to tell you this: that no matter how many times your heart breaks or bends or comes apart at the seams, I’ll put every inch of it back together. I’m not saying I’ll make it better because people (like yours truly) are flawed and imperfect but I swear I’ll write you enough of these sappy letters to last a silly, splendid lifetime. And I’m lucky enough to be writing your wilder mind from a city of angels.
I think that’s enough feelings for one night. I can’t wait for you to read these.
If it were perfect, it wouldn’t be called life.
Eternally Yours,
Matt
