A failed escape

I die every night in my dreams
Every night when I close my eyes
And transcend from this miserable reality
To what they call
An escape
I die there.

Every night
When I fall into my pillow
Waiting for beautiful sleep to inundate me
In the cavalier belief
That I will be taken somewhere
Heartwarming and nice
I fall into an abyss
A dark toothed comb
Which sifts me like a speck of bad thought
In a mind full of grainy sadness
And I never touch the ground
I always wake up panting
But I know that I always die there

Perhaps
The best way
To deal with this
Would be to not fall asleep
Not dream at all
But it is not like
Reality is not miserable enough
At least I get to die in my dreams
Here
I am not even living.

With love for Mira