The Tunnel From Nowhere

Conversations with myself.

“I was reading a book and…”

“Wait. You were reading a book?”

“Yes, and…”

“You. Were reading a book.”

“I was on the toilet.”

“Ah.”

“Anyway, I was reading that there was no Big Bang that started the universe, and….”

“There was no Big Bang?”

“Right, and….”

“Since when?”

“Well, it’s the Big Bang so I guess since always.”

“No, I mean….”

“It goes to the question of God.”

“Which question is that?”

“Whether or not there is one.”

“How is that relevant?”

“Because for the universe to have been created, there would necessarily need to have been a creator.”

“Necessarily?”

“Logically speaking, for a thing to have been created, there needs to be a cause, and for the cause to take place, there needs to be a creator to put that cause into action.”

“And that would be God.”

“Lacking a better candidate, yes, that would be God.”

“And you were reading this on the toilet.”

“Anyway…rather that there being a Big Bang at the beginning from which all things came, the theory is that this universe tunneled in from another universe that pre-existed before this one.”

“Tunneled how?”

“I had flushed by that point so I’m not familiar with the mechanics.”

“Being the quantum mechanics.”

“Exactly! How did you…?”

“I’m you. I was there.”

“Then why are you asking…?”

“Get on with it.”

“Right. So…this universe tunneled in from another different pre-existing universe and….”

“Where did that one come from?”

“The other universe?”

“Yes.”

“That’s not the point.”

“Well, it’s a point. Since what you’re trying to do here is disprove the idea that this universe had a beginning, hence a beginner, hence a God. But if we allow that this one came from a previous one, and then extend that to the theory that the other universe also came from yet another universe, and so on ad infinitum….”

“Ooh! Latin! Sexy.”

“We have to return to the question of where the first universe came from, and then is the point of the universe, the entire universe….”

“Everything that exists.”

“Basically, yes. That the point of each universe is simply to evolve to a point that it gives birth to the next universe, whether or not there’s a God is a moot point, isn’t it?”

“How so?”

“Well, nothing matters anyway.”

“Even matter doesn’t matter.”

“Because there is no higher goal except survival.”

“Well, rebirth. Not survival. The question of survival is also moot since….”

“Since one universe will give birth to the next.”

“At some point.”

“Naturally.”

“And not…”

“Supernaturally.”

“Okay, so if I concede the theory that there was no Big Bang, and that this universe came from a different universe, doesn’t that also suggest that there have always been and will always be other universes giving birth to other universes? That this is occurring right now. In this moment. That somewhere a universe is dying and another is being born….”

“Being tunneled, apparently.”

“And so on and so on, that this will occur forever and has been occurring forever and….”

“Wait.”

“What?”

“Well, there is no such thing as forever.”

“What?”

“In that same article, the author explained that infinity is a mathematical concept that stands in for a number so large that its calculation is irrelevant for any logical use.”

“There is no infinity.”

“Nope.”

“Forever….”

“Doesn’t exist.”

“Time….”

“Goes on and on without end.”

“But you just said that it has to end.”

“Well, the universe does.”

“And if that happens, doesn’t time cease to matter?”

“I…guess?”

“I mean, practically, to us here, in this universe, if there is nothing, there is no time, either.”

“Well, no. Time isn’t the same thing as existence.”

“It’s simply a method of measuring it.”

“Precisely.”

“But if there is no existence, there is no need to measure it….”

“How does any of this have anything to do with God?”

“Well, I mean…what the fuck was God doing it all for?”

“All?”

“This. What’s the point? It’s all just birth and rebirth again and again and again. No grand scheme to any of it, is there? We don’t control any of that larger system of things, and we’re sitting here on this blue planet worrying about, like, whether Uber is paying its drivers fairly.”

“Maybe next time just take a shit and forget the larger questions of the universe?”

“Agreed.”