3 Reasons Why You Wish You Spoke Canadian English
You need more ‘eh’ in your life, eh?
In Canada, we know all the stereotypes. We drink maple syrup instead of water, eat exclusively Canadian bacon and poutine, dress as lumberjacks with Canadian Goose sponsorships, and talk like hillbillies in Trailer Park Boys.
I have some news for you. There is no such thing as ‘Canadian bacon’ in Canada. It is actually called ‘peameal bacon’. The rest is true.
But in all seriousness, Canadians take their English with all seriousness (and their French too).
And international students who study in Canada do too. Hundreds of international university students have attended my seminar on Canadian English. I have even taught this seminar to Japanese university students in the mountains near Mount Fuji.
In case you would rather the Coles Notes (remember those?), here are the main takeaways from my seminars:
What is Canadian English you might ask?
In a nutshell, Canadian English is the perfect love child of British spelling and American pronunciation. And, it has some pretty fun and wacky vocabulary to boot.
1. Canadian spelling for the win
One of the easiest ways to visibly upset Canadians is to use American spelling. And, if you didn’t know, it is pretty damn hard to upset Canadians. They are professionally trained passive-aggressive peacemakers (whoa, joking, tone it down, Karen).
Recently, the local news reported that a beloved shopping mall from my childhood, the Centerpoint Mall, would be torn down and replaced with condos. (Sidebar: Is there anything more Canadian?). The comments section couldn’t have cared less about the shopping mall. Apparently, the mall deserved to burn to the ground because of its American spelling.
‘Center’ should be spelled as ‘centre’ in Canada. This rule holds true no matter if using ‘centre’ as a noun, verb, or adjective. (Another sidebar: Grammarly apparently needs a Canadian version so it will stop harassing me).
In Canada, ‘humor’ should be spelled as ‘humour’. We just love sneaking in a silent ‘u’ to mess with your head: ‘Colour’, ‘flavour’, and ‘honour’. At least the Americans agree with us on ‘glamour.’
Canada more often follows the British spelling than the American spelling.
It may be confusing at first. And, sure, it probably doesn't make much of a difference overall. But the British spelling feels ever-so-slightly more traditional, authentic, and regal.
Why is that? It is said that British English keeps the spelling of words it has absorbed from other languages, such as French and German. American English spelling is based more on how the word sounds when spoken.
FYI, Canadians don’t always side with the Brits about spelling. Words such as ‘climatize’, ‘polarize’, ‘realize’ and others with ‘ize’ endings are common to both the US and Canada whereas the British use ‘climatise’, ‘polarise’, and ‘realise’.
2. Canadian pronunciation is ‘hip’, not ‘hick’
Canadian English, like American English, is largely regional. It is only the second-largest country in the world, so some regional differences make sense, right?
Most Canadians speak standard English similar to what you would normally see on American TV.
However, people from other parts of Canada such as Newfoundland are barely comprehensible to the average Canuck.
Check out an example of Newfoundlander English here (start video at 0:45). Reader Challenge: if you understand what on earth he is saying, I will buy you a Ko-fi.
But for those of us who speak a standard dialect, there are a few words that can be dead giveaways for a Canadian speaker.
It was very unfortunate timing that I was working in Vermont the summer when South Park released their most famous ‘aboot’ skit. For the entire summer, I asked to say ‘about’ multiple times per day.
If you are so lucky as to never have heard ‘aboot’ this scandalous clichè, let me explain. The American politicians on South Park have a hoot when the Canadian politicians say ‘aboot’ instead of ‘about’.
Why scandalous, you ask? Well, I hate to burst your South Park bubble, but Canadian’s don’t actually say ‘aboot’.
Instead, Canadians raise the OU vowel sound slightly, so the tongue sits higher in the mouth. We say ‘about’ using a similar vowel diphthong as a wolf howl or close to ‘oat’.
Meanwhile, Americans say ‘about’ using a similar vowel sound as when you get hurt and say ‘ouch’. Because of the difference in sound, Americans actually hear ‘aboot’. It is a phenomenon called ‘Canadian raising’.
There is another phenomenon called ‘the Canadian Shift’ which has merged two distinct vowel sounds into one. This means that words like “cot” and “caught,” “stock” and “stalk,” “nod” and “gnawed” are pronounced identically in Canada.
Surprisingly, the Canadian Shift is less Canadian than it sounds. It is currently at work in parts of the US too, such as California and the Midwest.
No problem! There is lots of Canadian Shift to go around and we don’t mind sharing. No need to be jealous. We will easily trade you some cool Canadian Shift for some California sunshine. Deal?
3. Canadian vocabulary is loonie toonie
Most of the vocabulary Canadians use is familiar to international English speakers.
When given the choice between American vocabulary such as ‘truck’ and British vocabulary such as ‘lorry’, we tend to side with our Southern neighbours.
That means that we wear ‘sweaters’ not ‘jumpers’, use ‘sidewalks’ not ‘pavement’, but use neither ‘freeways’ nor ‘motorway’. They are ‘highways’, of course!
But, when a Canadian a distinctively Canadian word, it is a dead giveaway that the speaker is a Canuck.
Let’s play another round of……..Quiz the Reader!!!
How many of the following Canadian words can you define:
1. double-double (n.)
2. toque (n.)
3. mickey (n.; not the mouse)
4. Canuck (n.; I’ve only used it twice so far in this article)
5. Newfie (n.)
6. washroom (n.)
7. zed (n.)
8. loonie (n.)
9. toonie (n.)
10. eh (interjection)
Scroll down to check your answers……..
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almost there………….
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1. double-double (n.) = a coffee from Tim Hortons Coffee Shop with 2 packets of creams and 2 spoons of sugars.
2. toque (n.)= a beanie style winter hat
3. mickey (n.; not the mouse) = a 375mL bottle of hard liquor (but I recently learned that this is slang for the date rape drug in the US)
4. Canuck (n.; I’ve only used it twice so far in this article) = a Canadian!
5. Newfie (n.)= someone from Newfoundland
6. washroom (n.) = a bathroom, toilet, W.C., or restroom (Canadians never use W.C. or restroom)
7. zed (n.) = the final letter of the alphabet (no, we don’t say Zee which puts a kink in the rhyming property of the ABC song)
8. loonie (n.) = a one-dollar coin
9. toonie (n.) = a two-dollar coin
10. eh (interjection) = the best word on earth (see below)
So, how Canadian is your vocabulary range? You can throw your score in the comments so we Canadians know how desperately we need to invent new incomprehensible insider vocabulary.
What’s the deal with ‘eh’?
The famous and celebrate ‘eh’, pronounced ‘ay’ as in ‘day’, is not just a stereotype. It’s the real deal up here. And for a good reason.
We use ‘eh’ as a question tag,
This means that you can tag it to the end of a declarative sentence to create a question. For example, ‘it is snowing a lot, eh? creates a question out of the sentence ‘it is snowing’. It functions the same way as “it is snowing a lot, right?” or “it is snowing a lot, isn’t it?”
Tags can be confusing for newer speakers of English because the tag must agree with the verb tense. For example, “it snows a lot, doesn’t it?” demonstrates the tag for the simple present and “it has snowed a lot, hasn’t it? illustrates the tag for the present perfect.
How much easier is it to just say ‘eh’ no matter the verb tense?
How do we use tags anyways? It is a friendly way to engage the listener in the conversation. If you had simply said “it is snowing a lot”, the listener would probably say nothing and end the conversation right there. So, consider ‘eh’ a Canadian small talk maker.
For the record, the concept is far from exclusively Canadian. The Portuguese have ‘né’ and the Dutch have ‘hè’ which both function quite similarly. How did so many languages agree to use an interjunction ending in the sound ‘ay’? Maybe it was passed down from medieval pirates, eh?
Well, that’s a wrap for our quick and dirty lesson on Canadian English. Thanks for sticking with me from A to Zed.
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