The Dreamer

I was in a deep sleep, suddenly woke up, but somehow I knew that I was still sleeping and managed to wake up in my dream. How did I know? Well I was having a vivid dream that seemed to be going on and on. In my dream I was wondering when I was going to wake up because, despite sleeping, I seemed to have a sense of time and the dream seemed be interminable. It wasn’t a bad dream at all. In the dream, I was me and everything in the dream was exactly the same as in my waking life. Even in the dream, this seemed so strange and disorienting, similar to when one realizes they are having a lucid dream.

So I woke up, but I was in my dream. At this point, I completely freaked out because since my dream was the same as my waking life, I couldn’t tell whether I was still dreaming or awake. I sat up on the edge of my bed and slapped my face, but I also did this in my dream and it felt exactly the same. I went to the bathroom and was feeling as though in a fog. I splashed cold water on my face but I felt the same. I looked in the mirror and everything appeared normal. I recalled a technique to facilitate having a lucid dream where you pull on one of your fingers and if it stretches, then this is a sign that you are lucid in your dream. I pulled vigorously, which cracked my finger joint and caused a twinge of pain, but it didn’t elongate. I sighed in relief- I was awake.

Everything almost seemed normal. Everything in the apartment was in place, I made a few calls and answered some emails. However, I had this nagging feeling that I was being watched. It was the very same feeling I had when I had the lucid dream. I knew that I was sleeping and that I was awake in the dream, and that “I” was watching “me” in the dream. All the characters in the dream- my friends, kids, mother, sister, nephew- seemed exactly as they did in real life, but I knew that I was dreaming. Now that I woke up, everything seemed exactly the same, including that feeling that I was awake in a dream. I couldn’t shake that feeling so I decided to go for a swim and work-out, hoping that would snap me out of this haze.

So what would it be like if I woke up to discover that this was all a dream. What would that experience be like for me? I would imagine that I would at first be quite disoriented as to what the hell was going on. First, I would wonder why this character called Richard took everything so seriously. I’d ask how he could possibly believe what he was so immersed in, such as:

• Working so hard to pay his bills and debt. How could he not realize the loop he was in that made it all so preposterous.
• His strong belief that he could actually help or guide anyone.
• His attachment to his children and their outcomes.

He’d probably have to sit down and try to figure it all out, and more importantly, realizing that he was awake in a dream, what he now was going to do since there was no way out. How does one conduct themselves in a dream when you know it’s a dream. Interesting question?

One of the first questions he’d ask was how the hell did he get here in this dream. When did it all begin? Who is this character called Richard? Why didn’t he know that it was all a dream? Everything about the dream was so obviously a dream. There were so many dead give-aways. But then this was the case of all the dream characters, so it seems as though this was part of the program. But then, why did he wake up? What made him different?

This line of questioning could go on forever, but the most relevant question was what to do now? There clearly didn’t seem to be any way out or anywhere to go. So at least until he figured things out, he’d at least have to play along so the other dream characters wouldn’t think he had suddenly gone crazy. However, this would not be as easy as he thought. How does he actually take anything seriously. The dream character Richard was really intense about this illusory journey that he was taking. A journey from and to where? At least this was all in his head and all he had to do was to stop talking about it and no one would suspect anything. This at least was a relief. His second obsession was his strong desire for freedom, which was noble, but he mucked it all up with the belief that he had to have money in order to achieve it. This then led to the belief that he had to work for money, as though that money was “earned” through working. This was pure fiction, but then again, so was the dream state. What a predicament he found himself him.

The basic issue was that dream state characters took everything very seriously: their work, relationships, politics, beliefs, money, etc, etc. It was all a dream. He wanted to shake everyone vigorously in order to wake them up, but he realized that it was not the dream character that was sleeping and consequently could not be awakened. Dream characters are dream characters, by definition. Then who wakes up? The dreamer of course. But how? Good question, but he didn’t have the answer.

So since he was awake and aware that he was in a dream, how would he choose to live his day to day life. Well for one thing, he would not, and could not take any of it very seriously. It was all just happening. Moreover, everyone in the dream state was him, or rather, the dreamer dreaming him. Was he in fact the dreamer or just a part of the dreamer? Good question but again, no answer. So everyone, all dream characters, was him playing our their dream state roles. They were all facets of himself playing the various roles in this dream performance.

So aside from being aware that it was all a dream, what else made him different than the other dream characters. Well, as he previously surmised, he could not take anything that occurred in the dream very seriously at all. How could he? He wondered, however, whether or not he could exert any will in the dream state? Could he make things happen by willing them, such as wealth, abundance, love, or life circumstances; or was he condemned to play out his role but have the gift of awareness that it was just a performance.

Was this what they called “enlightenment”? Was this why the Buddha was reported to have stated that he gained absolutely nothing from “enlightenment”? Is this why the character of “Cypher” in the movie “Matrix” wished to be reinserted into the matrix?

These questions seemed too heavy for a dream so I decided to take my dream character to the dream medicine cabinet, take two dream sleeping pills, go back to his dream bed, tuck himself under his dream blanket, sing himself a dream lullaby, and hope to go back to his dream sleep where he hopefully will have a better dream dream.

I am an emergency physician, writer and a lover of life. The purpose of this blog is to share my ideas, experiences and perspectives as they relate to Consciousness, and as they evolve. Consciousness encompasses everything in my life, your life, the world, the Universe — in other words — EVERYTHING! As the great Shaman Don Diego used to say: “It’s not the most important thing, and it’s not the least important thing…It’s the ONLY thing!”

Check out my novel: “The Twin Flames, the Master, and the Game”! It’s available on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and Balboa Press.