One whole flipping month

I’m all sappy sentimental today because my girl… my baby… my own little human is one whole flipping month old today. Where has time gone? And what the eff have I been doing for a whole month?

This post is bc I never ever EVER EVERRRRR everrrrrrr want to forget this precise moment in time. I want to remember and hold on to forever my newborn Lua (not the 2 month old Lua or, holy crap, the 2 year old Lua one day).

So, yes, I really am about to write about the sounds she makes when she’s waking up, and her many faces before she falls asleep. Yes, I am going to write about her smile and her eyes and her new baby skin and her toes… those toes! It’s all cheeseball, but I’m super cheeseball now. And I don’t. care. Bc. human. pushed. out. from. between. my. legs. after. 9. months. of. growing. her. from. the. inside!

I’m writing this while she sleeps on my chest. My thighs are holding the computer between them and I’m typing like mad lest she wake up before I’m done writing and this post will never actually happen.

Yesterday, Lua and I had a single goal: Stay in our sweats all day bc I was preparing for the psychological bomb that today was going to be for me. I needed sweat pants and banana bread (although I could’ve really used a pizza as well) just to deal with the impending reality that I now have a one month old.

And frick, she is perfect. I could have never known what I should hope for in my first baby but she is all that and bag of harvest cheddar sun chips. At night I’m literally torn between wanting to stare at her while she sleeps and knowing that I have anywhere from 1.5–3 hours to sleep myself before she wakes again. Of course, I give in to the “sleeping myself” since I am typically half asleep by 7:30pm anyway. But I always tell her “see you in a couple of hours, my girl” and I kiss her rose petal soft cheekies and then I snooze.

A couple of days out of the hospital we were at home and I was crying thinking about how much amazingness I got in Lua. I got a girl! with hair! and with green/hazel eyes!!! I have not done enough random acts of kindness to deserve this little cupcake, but ok… I’ll keep her forever!

In more Lua obsession…

Check out these little feet:

My mom was thinking that Lua has Colin’s feet but nope, they are much more like mine… little short toes that look like they were cut off maybe just a bit too early. Colin’s toes all kind of curve to the outside, so we are not unhappy to not have his feet. But she did get his upper lip:

These fists:

Oh my, these little fists. For weeks I’ve had Lua in those outfits where the sleeves turn in to little mittens so her hands don’t get cold. So the other day I put her in this tea cup outfit and I nearly cried bc I forgot what her precious little tiny hands looked like and felt like. GG Betty the other day said she has the most beautiful hands :) If I study her fingers real hard, which I do sometimes bc I really do truly love them that much, they are quite long. And very wrinkly. I look at her little finger nails and remember how in week whatever during pregnancy those nails were just coming in.

And this smile:

I remember the first time I saw her crack a smile while she slept in my arms. My heart held its breath then smiled back a million happy faces.

What else can I say about her sleeping? Only that it’s also perfect. It could stand to be longer… like maybe 4, 5, 6 hours at a time… but for now, it’s perfect. You can tell when she’s in her deepest sleep bc her mouth hangs open:

She’s a little stingy about her sleeping arrangements… in the day, she pretty much only wants to be held. Every time I go to set her down so I can do something normal like pee or unload the dishwasher or take the dog out, she wakes up and is sad. And I’m a sucker for her sad face. So then I hold her all day and it’s suddenly 5pm.

I thought I would be super bored once becoming a mom and being on maternity leave. I WAS SO WRONG. We have no free time bc we are busy snuggling, and if we aren’t snuggling we are getting ready to snuggle or we just woke up from a snuggle or we are eating before we snuggle. The snuggle struggle is real, people!

Lua is a very noisy stretcher now… a grunt-meets-middle-of-a-sneeze noise that she makes just as she’s waking up. And like me, she tries to keep her eyes closed as long as possible. We are both thinking nooooo, not the light!!!

I sing to her whenever I can (bc I want her to know me, and also bc no one else on earth should hear this terrible singing voice). And I love love love to stroke her little cheeks. Her skin… HER SKIN! It’s the softest thing in the entire world. Literally I cannot think of something that is softer than her skin. Feathers are like sand paper next to my girl’s skin. Silk is like velcro; organic bamboo cotton is like a porcupine nest to Lua’s softest skin in the world.

And time, what is time? We don’t follow rules or time or normal people sleep and eating schedules. We do what we want… or what Lua wants :)

Here’s what else we’ve been getting up to lately:

  • Hanging out with Auntie Haley
  • Hanging out with Auntie Lyssa, Stella and Poppy
  • Visiting GG Betty
  • Pumpkin patched
  • Looking online for Christmas stockings
  • Buying things we shouldn’t on Zulily — I LOVE ZULILY!
  • Lua’s almost done shedding her snake skin. She’s been a bit peely for awhile and doesn’t like to have her skin lotioned down. So we are being patient.
  • Her baby acne popped up about 1–2 weeks ago and was in full force, but is on the fade out now.
  • We’ve outgrown our first outfit :( WAAAAHHHHHHHHH! Why is she getting so big?! It was our favorite outfit bc it was the only sleeper for weeks that really fit her. But the last 3 times I put it on her in the morning we had to change out of it by 10am due to baby vomit. Maybe it was just my favorite outfit for her and she was trying to tell me she hated it. This outfit:
  • We took back our fancy pants Halo swiveling bassinet with the vibration and sounds bc decided we didn’t need it (and bc Lua got a Dock-A-Tot instead). So now we have what-should-last-us-several-years in Target store credit (unless I start buying fall sweaters for myself).
  • She slept through the VP Debate and the second Presidential Debate, but I know she was interested.
  • This week we have two more goals: Order baby announcements, and don’t forget dad’s birthday next week (like I always do).

So, with one month of momming now behind me here’s what I think it comes down to: Bottomless love (like Red Robbin’s bottomless fries, which I would like RIGHT NOW!). I don’t just overflow with the deepest most spiritual, physical and emotional love for Lua… it’s bottomless, limitless, there is no end to it. It surrounds Colin and Lua and I have never felt so thankful in my entire life.

I’ve also never felt so protective — like I never want to let go of her. And so helpless when I know her tummy is hurting and I can do nothing but cuddle her until it stops. My heart has never been so full, and so prayerful that my girl grows up strong and fearless and kind. My life has never been so purposeful, so real. My own little family.

Basically, can I just stretch this first month by another 2–3 weeks so I can snuggle newborn Lua for longer??

I love you, Lua, x infinity. You are my sunshine!

Also, I’m so stupid that we actually took 74 pictures prior to the very first one in this post for her “official one month portrait” but I had framed “weeks” instead of “months” in all of them.

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