Switching To Decaf

I recently went in for my annual physical to make sure my body was still “in the top 1 percentile of health.” After doing the countless tests and answering the detailed questions and refusing the “mandatory” flu shot/autism injection, Dr. Fianni said that everything looked the same as last year except that I’d lost 5 pounds. We joked about how the last 5 pounds are always the hardest and how nothing is really that hard for me and I got up to leave. As I was putting on my quirky shoe and clog combo, Dr. Fianni said something interesting to me. She said, “do you drink decaf?” “Do I drink decaf?” Sometimes certain questions stick with you and really challenge you to think. This was one of them. I thought to myself — wow, I don’t. The doctor said that it was totally fine and that she was just asking. But for me, it really struck a chord. So that week, I decided to drink only decaf. Needless to say, I learned a lot. On the first day, I was particularly tired so I decided to sleep more. This continued every day, and so every day I slept more. And then I started thinking — why do people drink caffeinated coffee instead of just sleeping in until noon and not having a job? Also, the coffee tastes the same but most importantly, decaf lattes still photograph beautifully and they still provide me an avenue to spend my excess money. So, to anyone looking to cut out caffeine, my recommendation to you would be: sleep in, go to bed early, nap midday and smile. Life really is gorgeous, even without the buzz*.

*Editor’s note: She did NOT cut out her non-prescription Adderall