In order to understand why it is so hard for us to be our authentic selves, we have to go back to the beginning.
Back to when we were babies.
- Development is how your child grows physically and emotionally and learns to communicate, think and socialise.
Development is something that happens to all of us throughout our very first years of existence.
That implies that during those years, we learned to be ourselves.
Or at least, we learned to be the self that our parents and other people taught us to be.
Most of our behaviors are learned at that stage.
This is how this stage goes: adults teach children how to behave and how to be.
The only problem with that is that although it teaches us how to survive in our society, it also doesn’t really allow the child to be its own person.
We impose behaviors and personalities onto them so that they can fit into a certain way of being that we’ve all been taught.
It’s a cycle that we all feel is normal to perpetuate but what we don’t realize is that we essentially teach each other to suppress who we truly are, to comform, to fit in and to be everything that you are told to be instead of being everything that you really are.
“The child is born as a pure centre, as innocence, with no duality. He is one. He is in the state of unio mystica: he does not yet know that he is separate from existence. He lives in unity; he has not known any separation, the ego has not arisen yet. But immediately the society starts working on the child. It says, ‘Don’t do this. This will not be acceptable to the society; repress it. Do this, because this is acceptable to the society and you will be respected, loved, appreciated’. So a duality is created in the child; on the circumference a duality arises. The first layer is the positive that you have to show to others, and the second layer is the negative that you have to hide within yourself…
These two layers are our split. The first layer is positive and false, the second layer is negative and false. They are false because only the total can be real. The partial is always false, because the partial denies something, rejects something, and the existence of a denied part makes it false. Only in total acceptance does reality arise.” — Osho (spiritual leader)
This description by the spiritual leader Osho shows us how from the beginning of our lives we have learned to be false.
We’ve been taught to not be 100% ourselves.
We’ve been taught to not be 100% real.
Yet, isn’t “being real” something that we expect from one another?
But how can we even be real when who we are is based on falsity?
The truth is that we don’t even know what “being real” even means because as explained by Osho, a split has been created in us from the day that we were born.
We’re lost in between showing a “positive image” of ourselves while getting rid of the “negative part” of ourselves.
And by doing that we are not whole.
We are not being our whole self.
Now the question is how do we get our whole self back when it’s been split?
Maybe, just maybe, the journey isn’t so much about becoming anything.
But maybe it is about un-becoming everything that isn’t really you so you can be who you were meant to be in the first place.
Whether you believe in God or not, the truth is that you were meant to be somebody.
And that somebody is your authentic self.
And no matter how much people try to change you, or impose ways of being onto you, the only thing that you can ever be is your authentic self; the person you’ve been created to be.
Nobody can ever tell you who you were created to be.
Because truth be told, they have no idea who you’ve been created to be.
You’ll have to discover that for yourself.
Being your authentic self is a personal journey that you’ll have to be willing to take on your own.
Some people will tell you that you are crazy and that there is no other way to be but to be what society wants you to be but that is not true.
Society has been lying to you since you were born.
Society made you believe that being your true self wouldn’t be appreciated or accepted but that’s only because society will never accept your true self.
Because that’s how society has been created.
And it’ll never change.
Unless we decide that society is what we make of it.
Society is whatever we create it to be, not the other way around.
Society doesn’t make us, we make society.
So if we want a society that accepts all of us for being our true authentic selves, we need to start by being people who will accept not only our true authentic selves but who’ll also accepter other people’s true authentic selves.
You were not born to be what society wants/tells you to be, you were born to be who you were meant to be!
I think it’s high time that we all realize that!
But, where do we start?
Start by realizing who you are, who you really are, without all the noises of your childhood, other people and society.
“Learning to recognize ourselves in the moment, free of the superego, means taking responsibility for making choices not dictated by the past and other people’s values, but based on our ability to feel who we are, what we want and how we intend commotting ourselves to realising our potential.” — Avikal e. Costantino
L’Artiste Mag, is a magazine dedicated to all the dreamers, doers, creatives, weirdos, lovers and overall incredible human beings. The goal of this magazine is to awaken your long asleep authentic self and to be able to permanently work/live with it and experience life like you used to experience it when you were a kid, with big eyes full of wonder, joy, fun, creativity and authenticity.