Toxic Positivity in the Workplace
Based on an episode with Simone Lima 🇧🇷
Welcome to Latinx in Power, a podcast aiming to help to demystify tech, the way we do that is by interviewing Latinx and Caribbean leaders all over the world to hear their perspective and insights.
We talked with Simone Lima (she/her), a podcast creator and problem solver dedicated to making a positive impact with a passion for technology and creative pursuits. Fun fact: she has lived in 5 continents already!
In this episode, Simone shared more about her career journey, and also about her research on toxic positivity in the workplace, covering signs, mental health intersections, and coping strategies.
What does it mean to be a Latina for you?
That was such an interesting question because, you know, I’m not sure if you can relate, but as a Brazilian, I often find that we don’t immediately feel connected to the Latin American community from the get-go. It’s been a journey for me to truly understand what that means.
Since moving to Canada about three years ago and connecting with other Latin American immigrants, it has significantly changed how I perceive myself as both a Latina and a Latin American immigrant. There’s something about spontaneity and being genuinely truthful about your feelings that I think is deeply ingrained in Latin American culture.
This aspect of my identity trickles down into my research, where I find myself wanting to openly discuss my feelings in the workplace. It’s definitely a cultural trait that influences how we communicate and express ourselves.
The journey has been accelerating in the last three years, and I’m genuinely excited to continue meeting more Latin American people and building that community around me. Learning Spanish has played a role in making me feel more connected, and it’s been an interesting journey for me. Defining myself as a Latin American person is still a work in progress.
I’m quite conscious about grammar and ensuring I use the right words because it seems like every Brazilian can speak a bit of “Portunhol”, a mix of Portuguese and Spanish. There’s this assumption that you can just make things up and have a conversation in Portuguese, and it’ll work fine, especially when traveling.
However, I’m self-conscious about knowing the actual vocabulary. Learning Spanish has been a deliberate effort for me. I didn’t want to just wing it; I wanted to honor the language, understand its roots, and truly grasp the words’ meanings. It’s been an interesting journey, and I’m making an effort to practice more.
Can you give us an overview of your career and tell us, how did everything start?
My career has been quite nonlinear. I initially started with journalism in undergrad but decided to switch gears and ended up graduating in international relations in Brazil. The idea of social impact and positive change has always resonated with me.
This led me to pursue opportunities in international organizations, including interning at the UN and freelancing in Brasília. However, I realized I craved a faster-paced environment, which led me into the for-profit space and eventually into startups.
In the startup realm, I’ve worn various hats — from operations to HR — before finding my groove in product management and development. Collaborating with designers and developers aligns with my preference for agile methodologies, allowing me to ideate, implement, and gather customer feedback efficiently. This journey from international relations to startups spans five years in product management, with an MBA in the middle.
The decision to pursue an MBA stemmed from a realization in Sao Paulo that my previous workstyle wasn’t sustainable. Constant fatigue and the challenges of commuting in São Paulo became overwhelming.
Taking a couple of years to reflect during the MBA, I reevaluated my career and focused into research on toxic positivity, which emerged from my collaboration with the Gender and Economics Institute. This institute explores the intersection of gender and economic issues.
The idea for the Toxic Positivity Podcast was born. The Toxic Positivity Podcast addresses the technique of suppressing emotions at work.
Can you tell us how would you define toxic positivity, especially within the context of the work environment?
I feel like the easiest, the shortest way to define it would be toxic positivity is really just a technique to suppress the emotions that will eventually come up. We’re all human beings at work. Things that we live in the workplace, people that we get in contact with, situations that we put ourselves through, they will, of course, generate emotions in us.
Sometimes in the workplaces, they don’t really have or don’t want to have the resources to help the workers, to help the people in the workplace, to actually deal, and process and understand the feelings and the emotions that are arising from their day-to-day work.
Toxic positivity is really a way to suppress, or to tell workers to suppress these feelings. So there are shorter-term consequences, longer-term consequences. That’s just like the shorter version of what toxic positivity is.
Again, I’m sure, we’re all very familiar with how toxic positivity works in a social media environment. In terms of, we only post what’s very positive, we only show moments in which we’re very happy. We don’t allow ourselves to actually feel and process emotions that are not strictly good, emotions that can be challenging, that can feel bad.
Toxic positivity is about not creating the space for workers to understand those emotions and to actually deal with those emotions.
Can you share a work example?
What happens, for example, when you may have a situation in which a project doesn’t go as planned or colleagues are not really getting along together. If a company is like, “Okay, you shouldn’t really be thinking about that.
There’s no reason for you to feel anxious about that, or you’re overreacting,” the employee might feel gaslighted. They experience someone telling them that their feelings are not valid or don’t exist. Consequently, all that mental load must be carried outside of work hours, forcing them to deal with it on their own time.
This was one of the reasons why I mentioned feeling super exhausted when working in Brazil before my MBA. I was grappling with various emotions at work, from navigating interpersonal dynamics to handling projects that didn’t go as planned.
I had to address these feelings in my own time, seek therapy at my own expense, and lean on friends outside of work to cope. A healthier workplace would proactively create spaces for people to understand and discuss their emotions, evaluating what worked and what didn’t within work hours.
Instead of being pushed to deliver and dealing with the consequences personally, a healthier workplace would facilitate forums for these discussions within the work itself. I feel like when it comes to working with agile, where retrospectives are commonplace, the ultimate goal is not to discuss people but to address events.
During a retrospective, there’s an opportunity to express how you felt, saying, “Hey, I felt very frustrated when I wanted to get that information and I couldn’t. But I understand that everybody was doing the best they could with the information they had at the time.” Holding these sometimes tough conversations and confronting people about their feelings allows for a better understanding and regulation of emotions, fostering a healthier work environment.
Are there any specific signs or red flags that individuals should be aware of to identify toxic positivity? How about the green flags?
I would say that it’s tough to really understand red flags if you’re not in the workplace. It’s challenging to grasp what’s not going well. Personally, I inquire about these aspects in interviews, but I always take the answers with a grain of salt because not everyone shares things as thoroughly as needed to make informed decisions about a workplace.
However, when you are in a workplace, factors like having a manager open to such conversations or team members willing to engage in them are crucial. If your manager or team is resistant to discussions about feelings, impacts, or personal support, that’s a red flag, even when observed from an external perspective.
When considering a move, understanding if the company invests in maintaining mental health is vital. Mechanisms such as unlimited PTO, parental leave policies, and stress-relief resources can signify a supportive environment. Evaluating a company’s structural elements, like PTO and HR policies, is crucial.
If everything is ad-hoc or depends solely on individual managers, it’s a red flag, indicating a potential lack of support for personal boundaries. Initiating conversations within the company about creating support groups for mental health or asking if you can establish one is an essential step. If the company resists or maintains a power imbalance, it’s a significant red flag. Open conversations and supportive groups among employees are indicators of a healthier work environment.
How does toxic positivity intersect with issues like mental health or like burnout in the workplace?
It’s so interconnected, as I mentioned. My podcast is structured in three parts — a series that aims to unravel toxic positivity.
- The first part is about what toxic positivity is.
- The second part focuses on how toxic positivity impacts employees directly.
- The third part goes into how toxic positivity affects companies.
I wanted to emphasize this distinction because in the grand scheme, no one truly benefits. While companies might experience short-term gains by pushing employees to constantly deliver, the long-term consequences, such as burnout, absenteeism, and turnover, outweigh any initial successes.
It’s a perspective worth exploring from both the company and employee angles. Employee mental health is a critical factor, especially when dealing with gaslighting. In one podcast interview, a guest shared her experience of continuously raising an issue only to be dismissed, being told she wasn’t supposed to feel a certain way or was overreacting.
Feeling gaslit can severely impact job performance and long-term sustainability. The connection between understanding, processing emotions, and effective regulation is crucial to preventing burnout. ESGs and groups addressing mental health in the workplace are valuable resources for fostering conversations about toxic positivity and creating a more emotionally supportive work environment. They serve as a vital starting point within a company for discussions on how to be more inclusive of people’s emotions in the workplace.
What strategies or coping mechanisms can employees employ when faced with toxic positivity in their professional lives?
I would say that there are both short-term and longer-term strategies to cope with the challenges of toxic positivity in the workplace. In emergency situations where immediate regulation is needed, short-term practices like meditation and breathing exercises have been helpful for me.
However, for the long term, creating and understanding personal boundaries and learning how to assert oneself in the workplace are crucial aspects. For immediate relief, taking a five-minute break for a breathing exercise or meditation can be effective.
Yet, for a more sustainable approach, it’s essential to delve into the deeper understanding of feelings, why certain emotions arise, and how to communicate them without being threatening. Personally, focusing on being more present in my body, engaging in activities like yoga or sports, and taking breaks from screen-related work has been instrumental in understanding and managing challenging emotions.
These practices contribute to non-destructive coping mechanisms and facilitate effective communication, fostering connections with colleagues. Recognizing that these strategies might vary depending on the individual’s work environment is crucial.
I acknowledge my context as a white-collar worker in the tech industry, where conversations around mental health are more openly embraced. It’s important to tailor coping mechanisms to your situation and work environment. The emphasis on identifying who you can talk to at work and having those conversations.
The journey of understanding personal boundaries and navigating work-life balance has been transformative for me, especially during my MBA years. It involved reflecting on how I want to return to work, what kind of employer I want to be, and ensuring that I don’t compromise my mental health for success.
Being an immigrant adds another layer to this journey, as there is often a perceived need to prove oneself and deliver more, potentially at the expense of mental health. This highlights the need for cultural and societal discussions surrounding these issues. Understanding that these conversations are necessary and initiating them with those around you is an essential first step in an ongoing and lifelong journey.
Which resource has helped you in your journey with work? Is there anything you want to share with us?
A book that has significantly influenced my perspective on work is “The Good Enough Job” by Simone Stolzoff. Stolzoff dismantles common myths surrounding work, challenging notions like the correlation between longer hours and increased productivity.
The book also questions the idea of the workplace as a family, emphasizing the capitalist transaction and contractual nature of employment. This read prompted me to reevaluate the role of work in my life, carve out more time for personal well-being, and detach my self-worth from professional achievements. Highly recommended for anyone navigating the complexities of the modern workplace.
Another valuable resource has been the YouTube channel “The Financial Diet,” focusing on economics and providing insights into money management. This channel has helped me in understanding my financial relationship, planning for the long term, and questioning why we tend to overly identify ourselves with our work. It encourages the exploration of diverse interests beyond the professional sphere. I follow their content and highly recommend it.
As a teaser, I’m contemplating a new podcast, so stay tuned for future announcements. Feel free to connect with me on LinkedIn under the name Simone Lima. Looking forward to engaging with the audience and sharing more insights.
I hope you enjoyed the podcast. We will have more interviews with amazing Latinx leaders the first Tuesday of every month. Check out our website Latinx In Power to hear more. Don’t forget to share comments and feedback, always with kindness. See you soon.
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Additional Reading Mentioned in the Interview
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