Of Regrets and Resolutions: A Reminder

A few years ago, Elder Uchtdorf wrote this awesome talk that I found while I was working on my New Year’s Resolutions called “Of Regrets and Resolutions”. It helped give me some perspective in the new year and I’m hoping it will help you as well.

Elder Uchtdorf talks about a nurse who worked with many people who were near the end of their life. While working with them, she would often ask her patients if they had any regrets. Uchtdorf finds the commonality in the advice to try and help us potentially avoid future regret.

I don’t want to go step-by-step through Elder Uchtdorf’s talk, though I highly recommend listening to it. But I do feel compelled to share a couple points that spoke to me.

Be Present

A common thread I found throughout Elder Uchtdorf’s remarks had to do with being more grounded and more present. Specifically, spending more time with those we love and less time staring into a screen. I took this under deep consideration when putting together my personal goals and resolutions for the year.

It’s easy to be distracted in this day and age. We have endless notifications and immense technology. Finding ourselves having to consciously put phones down is a real problem.

It’s certainly sad that news feeds and everything else online can be more captivating than the bodies right there with us… But what about the fact that there are so many stresses in daily living that can keep us from feeling present in our own lives as it is?

Between raising families, cultivating meaningful relationships with those family members, being good friends, making sure we’re good employees and bosses, serving and loving our neighbors, there’s a lot to think about and balance.

Getting caught up in these meaningful endeavors is automatic. If we’re not doing what we can to stay in the present moment and trying to find happiness and connection with those that matter most, we get thrown into the race of it all.

I love the comparison Elder Uchtdorf makes to Christ:

I think of our Lord and Exemplar, Jesus Christ, and His short life among the people of Galilee and Jerusalem. I have tried to imagine Him bustling between meetings or multitasking to get a list of urgent things accomplished.

I can’t see it.

Instead I see the compassionate and caring Son of God purposefully living each day. When He interacted with those around Him, they felt important and loved. He knew the infinite value of the people He met. He blessed them, ministered to them. He lifted them up, healed them. He gave them the precious gift of His time.

This is it for me; this is the perspective I need to make sure I’m being present for the people around me. My children definitely need me to go to work, but when I’m done there, they need Dad, not a robot going through the motions.

My wife needs my help, that is for certain, but she also needs my love and care. She needs to be heard, to feel respected, and to be supported. There is no better way to do this than to first be present for her when I’m here and able to.

Every person on this Earth could use more human connection, love, feelings of worth, and it starts with each of us resolving to be more present in our own lives.

Be Happy

With everything life throws at us, we need to find ways to let go and be happy. Let go of our goals & ambitions, stop looking to the future for satisfaction, stop dwelling on our imperfect past, and find happiness.

We don’t need to forget the stress or become ignorant of our past difficulties or traumas to find it either. I think it’s possible to start where we are, to find something that lights us up and warms our soul, even if for just a moment.

Each of us deserves to feel joy.

Elder Uchtdorf testifies that “…no matter our circumstances, no matter our challenges or trials, there is something in each day to embrace and cherish”.

Be Repentant

The Lord doesn’t expect perfection from us in this life, most of our prophets and apostles have talked about this.

It’s important for us to remember that we’re not going to knock it out of the park every time for our families, our bosses, and everyone else. Part of this life is to learn to roll with it, do the best we can, then try to do a little better each and every day.

That’s why we have the precious gift of Christ’s Atonement. He knows what we’re going through, and he’s ready to help us as we try to find happiness through living the commandments and finding joy in the journey of it all.

It is my own promise to you that as you consider a new year, as you look toward a new decade, that you can change to become the person you want to be.

If we will resolve to be more present, to choose happiness over negativity, to try a little harder each day and to forgive ourselves when we fall short, each of us will find it easier to look back on this year with contentment and a sense of improvement.