Parenting Prepared Me for Programming

Elise Olivares
Jul 10, 2017 · 3 min read

My career path has been bumpy, winding and frequently interrupted. It has finally brought me back to a subject for which I had a passion, once upon a time — programming. I am reflecting on all the life events that have made me who I am and am finding many strengths that I have acquired that will continue to prove useful. The most influential part of the last 10 years of my life, of course, has been my child.

When my child was a young baby, there was nothing in the world that could break my focus from them. Motherly instinct caused my attention to be constantly drawn towards the helpless thing that relied upon me. As my child has grown, so has the allowable distance between us, but the ability to home in on them with my focus beam remains. I apply this same intense focus to my computer work, able to zero in whenever needed. Avoiding distractions, blocking ambient noise, redirecting my own wandering mind, even ignoring other people are easy for me to do when I am in that zone. I can sit for 10 hours in a day when I’m invested in the project I’m working on, and if I can’t find the time, I create it out of thin air somehow. Maybe that’s just me; maybe it’s because I’m a mother.

Nothing has taught me more about patience than having a kid. Never have I been so boiling over the top frustrated with another person while still maintaining my composure and loving them more than anything. An experienced developer once told me,

“If you like to beat your head against the wall for 8 hours just to get that one moment of ‘woohoo!’, then you can be a programmer.”

Sounds familiar. I remember many mornings, or perhaps all parents have fed into a collective memory base, when the greatest accomplishment before 9am was getting my toddler to put on their shoes so we could leave the house. Through common experiences like that, I learned to appreciate these small victories. A walk around the block could turn into half a day’s journey. I realized that there was a magical world open to me through the point of view of my child but I had to be patient enough to slow down and see it.

Things don’t always turn out the way we expect. This is painfully true in life, in parenting, and in programming. When the movie is sold out and the ice cream place is closed early and I have a disappointed child in tears, I have no choice but to be the epitome of easy-going, keep a clear head, and practice flexibility. While this is a trivial example, I have seen adults throw literal tantrums because they cannot tolerate a slight shift in the tides of their day. When one approach doesn’t work out, I am unfazed, and begin thinking of another way. When the code doesn’t work, I simply figure out why and try something else. There is no pride or possessiveness or nostalgia attached to my code. Code is cheap, as they say, easy come, easy go.

As my child gets older and uses technology more and more themselves, they continue to inspire me to keep up with the latest trends and innovations. Without their bright-eyed enthusiasm, I may tend more towards stubborn stagnancy in my comfort zone than modernization. They will continue to learn things about which I know nothing and teach me in a way no one else can. Eventually, they will surpass me in many areas, and I will be motivated just to try my best to keep up. Here’s to you, kid. Thank you, in advance, for the future.

Launch School

Publications of the Launch School Community

Elise Olivares

Written by

Launch School

Publications of the Launch School Community

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