Keeping Up With The Kims: The World’s Newest Political Family Drama
Sibling rivalries suck. Being the oldest brother of two other siblings, I find that the benefits and drawbacks go back and forth. Sometimes I have to compete for affection from my parents and more often than not I have to give way to my younger brother or sister. Even worse, sometimes when I want to be alone and do my own thing I’ll get dragged into something I didn’t even want to get involved in, caused by either my brother or sister (most of the time it’s my sister). I remember most recently I was minding my own business when out of nowhere I get “reprimanded” by my parents because I was away from home late on weeknights often with the same friend who wasn’t liked by my sister. As a result my sister assumed the “worst” in our activities. In essence I was out only to prepare for tutorial sessions I help run with a friend. Regardless, I still got an earful from my parents.
That’s why I feel for Kim Jong-nam. The poor guy was assassinated the day before Valentine’s Day this year, with allegations that his unfortunate fate was ordered by his younger half-brother, and leader of the Democratic People’s Republic of Korea (DPRK), Kim Jong-un. Although my situation and Jong-nam’s situation ended in different results, regardless we were both victims of evil and possibly paranoid younger siblings.
But what’s been going on with the Kim’s in North Korea has been nothing short of an interesting drama. Essentially it all started with their ruthless father and former leader of the DPRK, Kim Jong-il. When planning out his will he had stated he wanted his eldest son Jong-nam from his first wife to lead North Korea after his passing. Jong-nam accepted his fate as the proposed heir and worked his way up through the Korean People’s Army, but he still wanted to enjoy himself before he himself would become the Dear Leader. Jong-nam apparently was a big Disney fan and really wanted to visit Tokyo Disney. Personally I don’t blame him. At 22 years old myself, I still think there is something magical about the Disney theme parks and would cherish any chance to visit Disney World again.
Unfortunately, as Japan has no formal diplomatic relations with North Korea and no official embassy, it is very difficult for a North Korean to enter Japan. Jong-nam saw this, and thought “hmm… if I can’t get to Tokyo Disney with a North Korean passport, maybe I should try using another country’s passport”. At least I assume that’s what he thought. It was smart of him to realize this, but what wasn’t smart was the country’s passport he chose to use. In 2001 he thought, and this is not a joke, that he would be able to get in to Japan using a fake passport from the Dominican Republic under the Chinese alias Pang Xiong (translation: Fat Panda). There are so many things wrong with this scenario and luckily you can’t pull a fast one over the Japanese immigration officials. As a result, Jong-nam was arrested and deported to China, leading to casting a cloud of shame over the Kim family. This hit his father Jong-il the hardest and ended up costing Jong-nam his position as heir to the North Korean throne.
Distraught after what had happened, Jong-nam decided he’s fed up living at home in North Korea and shortly after the incident leaves for Macau fearing of “repercussions” from his father. Since then Jong-nam has been between Macau and China, reportedly with a wife and children in both countries. In the meanwhile, Kim Jong-il begins to groom another one of his children to take over as Dear Leader. Although some suggested that Jong-nam’s elder half-brother Kim Jong-chul would take over, Jong-il saw him as “too girly” to ever be leader. Eventually it is revealed that Kim Jong-un would take over after Jong-il passes. This was a bit of a surprise as Jong-un was actually the youngest son from two wives. Jong-un assuming the role as dear leader would seem to be unorthodox.
Lo and behold though in December 2011, Kim Jong-il passes on and Kim Jong-un ascends to the throne. While many thought that this would be the end of much of the drama within the Kim family (with Jong-nam thinking especially so), Kim ended up bringing most of that drama in the limelight much like a Kardashian would.
It first started with the assassination of Jong-un’s uncle Jang Song-thaek, in essence Kim Jong-il’s Brother-in-Law. He was reportedly booked for treachery and executed via firing squad. Most saw this as a bold move given how high Jong-un’s uncle ranked in the military. That’s also likely why Song-thaek ended up on the wrong side of the firing squad. This execution could be seen as a result of being power-hungry and wanting pure autonomy at the top of the North Korean political food chain. This paranoia however also likely ended up causing the death of Jong-nam
Jong-nam was famously assassinated at the Kuala Lumpur International Airport on February 13 2017 by two women claiming to be on a prank show involving smearing a cloth over the face of “random men”. Reportedly they had tried this trick with other people, but once Kim Jong-nam approached, that’s when the poison came out, VX poison to be exact. Kim Jong-nam died around 20 minutes after being smeared, and the two women were arrested, along with several suspected North Korean citizens in Malaysia. What made things in this situation even funnier unfortunately was the fact that one of the female assassins was wearing a sweater with LOL in large letters on the front during the performance. Again, I am not making this up.
There are numerous reasons surrounding why one would assassinate Jong-nam. Most suspect that it was at the order of Jong-un, and each reason doesn’t seem to make sense. Jong-nam since being exiled from his home had stayed away from North Korean politics outside of some vocal criticism. He posed no real threat and was living (mostly) comfortably between China and Macau. Again this very well could be Jong-un’s paranoia and him wanting to be unattested in his role as leader of North Korea. Whatever the true reason is, I doubt we’ll ever get to find out what it is. I have, however, have found my new favourite reality TV family drama series.
*Note: This article is meant to be a satirical op-ed of the accounts of the events surrounding the assassination of Kim Jong-nam.
Sources:
http://theweek.com/articles/465775/kim-jong-uns-less-responsible-disneyobsessed-older-brother
