Personal Development Part 3 — Know where you're coming from
To be able to understand who you are and why you are as you are you need to know where you're coming from.
This is my beloved father. A big reason for who I am today and the reason I am here today. This weekend we had brunch together with the purpose of talking about who I was when I was young, why he thinks I am the way I am, and how I have developed as a person over the years.
I asked him for this opportunity a while ago as a part of my work with my Personal Development (PD) journey. I am planning to do the same with my mother since I am sure they will have different perspectives, ideas, and memories to add.
I would suggest that all of you who are working with PD or want to take the opportunity to ask your parents these questions to get a better understanding of your conditions and roots. This will make your journey much easier and understandable.
My advice to you and how to perform the conversation in a structured way is the following:
Book a meeting
Start with scheduling a date and time to have the meeting with your parent. Inform them of the reason for the meeting and ask them to reflect on who you are, how you were as young, and what has affected who you are. In the best case, they should take some notes and bring them to the meeting.
Start with your personality
Ask your parent to describe your personality in words and write them down. Ask them to explain in what way these words describe you and give some examples.
Focus on one area at a time
Here are the areas I focused on and in the right order:
1. Your first year
How were you as a newborn? Did you early show a personality? Were you early to start walking?
2. Your years in kindergarten
3. Your first 10 years
4. Your years as a teen
5. How was your relationship with your parents
Did you have a stronger relationship with any of your parents? Was it an emotional and loving relation or less?
6. How was your relationship with friends
Did you have many friends? Have you had the need to hang out with friends or enjoy your own company?
7. How were you in school
Did you easily learn things or did you have to work hard?
8. What sports did you perform
9. What other interests did you have
10. How were your relationships with girlfriends/boyfriends
If your personal characteristics have not yet been connected with your background and nurture dig deeper. Also always try to follow up a statement with the question “Why do you think that is?”. And remember this is not only an interview but I dialogue so do not be afraid of giving your views on things and challenge your parent's views and statements.
I hope this article was of help and I wish you the best of luck!
