Alex Goncalves… May you RIP

My good friend Alex is gone… and he’s gone too soon.
I know for a fact that he had set out to conquer the world, one embassy station at a time, and he was well on his way!

Alex and I met around 2001, both working in a restaurant in NYC while pursuing outside lives: both of us in school but the bond we share was instant.
I came to NYC as a misfit and getting used to this new way of life was quite a challenge at first: not fitting in in school, not fitting in socially, not knowing where I wanted to fit actually but he made it already to be a misfit.

Although we never spoke about it, we each had our own insecurities yet made fun of them out loud, him more so than I did: he was a gym rat as he struggled with his body image and I also had body issues which I addressed in the way that I dressed.

After work, time and time again, we escaped and conquered the city; shenanigans galore. Time and time again he dragged me out to a party coz he needed a sidekick or letting me crash at his apt coz he didn’t want me to journey back home at such a late hour of the night.

You gave and gave and gave unselfishly, and we took, and took and took some more! All of the things that you were and maybe never praised for: thoughtful, generous, attentive, funny, realist, very ambitious, a scrounge (which got you to where you are), a devoted son, an open minded friend.

Right in this very moment, knowing how you passed away, I am wondering if all along you had been crying for help, and we all thought that you were just being your joker self: laughing to mask your pain. I know that many judged you for being spiritually and sexually free, and never once did you apologize, not that you had to. I can’t help but wonder if some of your sexcapades were to fill a void in you, and how did we miss all the clues.

Earlier this year, we spoke about reconnecting towards the end of the year, and meeting in Italy. I should have taken you up on your offer sooner! I hadn’t seen you in a few years since your last trip in NYC.

As much as you lived on the edge, I wish you had done so by sharing with us what ailed you. For real, so we can at least talk about it without judgment any, or get you some help. You have gone on and left a forever void in us.

I only hope/wish/pray that I/we made a difference in your life the same you did in mine/ours, if not more. You will forever be missed. Wherever you are, just got funnier and livelier. Rest In Peace, dear friend…