Pokémon GO: 23 thoughts after 1 week playing the game

First thought: my Pokémons screenshot is my new resume.

If there’s one current phenomenon that blurs lines between real, fictional and digital, it’s definitely Pokémon GO. So, I obviously had to download it. I’ve only had it since thursday, and I already played for more than 20 hours and walked more than 100km. Here are 23 — more or less serious — thoughts that occurred to me while playing (before I write a more in depth article):

• Battery is now the most valuable resource. Smartphone manufacturers will have to take that into account.
• Corollary: augmented reality is not really used. Pokémon GO is more of an “augmented geography” game.
• As the Bitcoin economy consumes as much energy as Ireland, what about Pokémon GO?
• Real estate will rise in some areas.
• Pokémon GO players develop a REAL addiction.
• Corollary: as soon as summer ends, digital detox companies will make a fortune (as people will have to go back to work).
• The idea of “multi-tasking” now includes the skill to throw Pokéballs while walking, biking or rollerblading (rollerblade is dope, you can keep a steady 15km/h while you keep playing).
• With the Eurocup 2016, there has never been that many French children playing soccer in June. With Pokémon GO, there has never been so few.
• It costs 20$ to charge a Pokéstop with lures for a 7h period: a golden opportunity for bars and markets.
• Players are from 5 to 35 years old; few of them hunt alone, rather in couple, with friends or family (I even ran into a child/mother/grandmother trio).
• Children whose parents are from 25 to 35 years old will suffer a great lack of attention.
• A couple’s balance will now depend on a common love or dislike for Pokémon.
• Corollary: divorce rate is about to peak.
• Windows Phone owners are going to be first Pokémon GO detractors.
• Corollary: French 2017 presidential elections will see the creation of the first anti-Pokémon GO party.
• This summer, the lucky children are those who did NOT go on vacations (as they could stay logged in).
• Pokémon GO is the new “opium of the masses”… and a true pissing match!
• This summer, youngsters will have travelled 100km per week, on average.
• People will have never spent as much time outside without seeing the sky.
• Cities will have to speed up the car ban process.
• On Sundays, in parks, there are more people playing Pokémon GO than people who don’t.
• The pater familias can once again say “Honey, I’m out hunting tonight”.
• It’s now more important to know if someone is yellow, red or blue than if they are left or right wing.