Do we judge others when they make a different set of mistakes than we did?
It’s so easy to judge others, especially when they’re making mistakes different from the ones I remember making. Have you noticed how quick we are to empathize if someone messes up the same way we once did? We get it because we’ve been there.
But what happens when they screw up in a way we can’t relate to? Or can’t relate to it anymore, because those same blunders are years behind us? That’s when the judgment tends to come flying out. Instead of acknowledging it as a simple mistake, we start viewing it as some major character flaw. The advice and reprimands start rolling off the tongue.
I have to remind myself — that change is constant. The only thing I control is how I react to it. I need to lead by example and treat people with kindness and respect, even when I believe they’ve bungled something I “just can’t understand.” Even if they’re momentarily rude to me.
I tell myself I’m not doing it because they “deserve” my empathy and understanding. I’m doing it because I’m a fundamentally good person who tries to be helpful and acknowledge where others are coming from, especially when they stumble. Sometimes this helps me, and maybe it might help you too.
Deep down, isn’t that what we all want from others? We crave that supportive, respectful treatment when we inevitably slip up or snap at someone. The question is — can we give that first, before demanding it in return?
It’s so easy to judge others’ mistakes, especially the ones that look totally senseless to us. But can we take that objective step back and realize the differences in our perspectives and experiences? Can we be kind to others even if we believe they’ve been unkind to us? Because if we can’t, what right do we have to criticize and judge them so harshly? What right do we have to comment and challenge if we aren’t willing to first listen and understand?
The only opinions that truly stick with us long-term are those we believe really care about and will be there for us when we need them most. Otherwise, it’s just noise. So, pause, empathize, and be that person others will actually listen to.
Until next time, Cheers,
Amit
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