Ever Wondered How to Notice the Storytelling Trap and Stick to the Facts?
In my recent one-on-one meeting with my manager, I stumbled upon a revelation. I’m responding to a question, talking for a few short minutes, and then I notice it — my manager’s face. It’s a look that screams boredom, and disinterest. I couldn’t help but wonder, why did he bother asking me the question in the first place?
Then as I delved into some self-reflection, a light bulb went off, illuminating a fundamental aspect of human interaction — the distinction between facts and stories.
You see, when we hear something, our brains have this uncanny ability to weave intricate stories around it. We create scenarios, and possibilities, and even act out these mental narratives. It’s like we’re scripting a movie of our lives. The catch? These stories, these cinematic masterpieces, are purely fictional.
I’ve spoken about the difference between facts and stories before. I’ve emphasized the importance of recognizing when we veer off into the realm of imagination, stepping back, and focusing on the cold, hard facts. And, over the years I have become good at detecting when someone is reacting based on facts or if they are based on stories they have already lived through in their heads.
However, this reflection answers how I detect the same for myself. In this pivotal moment, I realized how helpful those subtle reactions can be from the person I am conversing with. Their expressions can help me identify when I’m drifting into the storytelling zone.
This is different than identifying in others when they are veering away from the facts. It is also different than personal reminders and tricks to self-identify. In this case, everything I need to know is right there in front of my eyes. We get so carried away with our own self-awareness mechanisms, that we fail to notice something obvious.
My experience has a happy ending. My manager, like a seasoned guide, gently nudged me back to reality. By ignoring my story, he indirectly and strongly hinted to me to “Stick to the facts”. Anytime in the future, if I find that my manager has lost interest, it is time for me to stop. Identify which conversation sin I am committing right now. It’s about swift detection, correction, and a commitment to staying grounded.
This lesson extends beyond my personal interactions with my manager. It’s about deciphering those subtle non-verbal cues, identifying the moment when stories hijack the conversation, and hitting the pause button. A simple acknowledgment of drifting into storytelling mode, followed by a return to the facts, can work wonders in maintaining clarity and engagement.
Have you ever found yourself in a similar situation? Those moments when the disconnect in communication seems palpable. I encourage you to reflect on whether it stems from straying into the territory of stories rather than sticking to the facts. Taking a moment to reassess, keenly observe those subtle signs, and readjust can be a game-changer in fostering effective communication. I’m eager to hear your experiences and insights — let’s engage in a conversation about mastering the art of staying with the facts.
Until next time, Cheers,
Amit
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