Why do we assume the worst? Shift your mindset from “yeah but” to “yeah and”
Change is an unavoidable part of life. Sharing my observations from a few recent experiences.
We’ve all been there, sitting in a meeting, hearing about cost reductions, and that familiar pit forms in your stomach. The unknown stretches before us, and our minds instinctively race to assume the worst.
But why does our default reaction lean towards the negative? The mere mention of change can send job security into a tremor, and our minds immediately fixate on all the reasons why it must be our role facing the chopping block. We pull the entire universe into our assumption, convincing ourselves that it’s our fate, even if there’s no direct evidence to support it.
Whenever I observe this behavior, I take a step back and try to identify who falls into which bucket of anxiety. Try it, can be an interesting experience.
Leaders can also play a role in shaping these reactions. One common misstep is being overly interested in addressing concerns without specific information. While the intention is good, it often has the opposite effect. Without specifics, anxiety finds fertile ground. Setting up sessions to address concerns when the leader cannot provide specifics usually leads to further assumptions and increased anxiety.
Instead of dwelling on the negatives, could we focus on what we can control? Certainly, preparing your resume and beginning some networking reach out is smart, but don’t forget to act on the inputs you can control. Take a moment to reflect on the value your role brings. Summarize it internally and share that data with your manager.
Be proactive; leaders crave data to make informed decisions. You can help with that. Focusing only on the negative and having a pity party won’t change the situation.
Now, consider another scenario. Here a leader applauds the team’s accomplishments. Rather than celebrating success, some team members start brewing negativity. The assumption? If we’ve achieved our objectives, there’s no room for growth, and our jobs are at risk. It’s baffling.
Is there a reason for this flight and fight thinking? Where is the confidence, and why assume the worst right away? Confidence breeds success; doubt breeds stagnation.
We had Success. Success is good. Just stay in that moment. Enjoy it. Don’t be in such a hurry to identify what is next! Why the need to be always busy? Breathe …
Another example I have seen is when Leaders point out areas for improvement. Instead of seizing opportunities and taking charge of how to improve, some team members immediately focus on the failure. We worry that we must have made some serious mistakes, and the leader has found out. There must be significant failures for the leader to engage and suggest improvement. We begin to defend ourselves and completely forget about the opportunity. Trust crumbles, confidence wavers, and negativity cloud the growth potential. Really?
A leader merely identified an opportunity, they did not assign blame for any failure. Can we stay with the facts? Can we accept it as a fact? Why do we create stories around it?
Offering a team an opportunity to collaborate often leads to silos and overthinking. Technical problems scatter and explode with solution approaches, wasting time until leadership intervenes. People-related items usually trigger more assumptions and disengagements rather than open dialogue.
Am I being too critical here? Maybe I need to take a deep breath too. These are not hypothetical scenarios. Real observations in just recent history.
Another scenario I have found common for teams is to respond skeptically when presented with a potential solution. Rather than considering how this solution could create value, we often question why other problems aren’t being addressed. We tend to forget about this problem for which we now have a solution to consider. Somehow start remembering every other problem under the sun!
For example, you might give a team an idea to improve certain experiences, processes, or tools. But instead of exploring it, the team might raise concerns about the many other processes, and likely non-related, gaps that exist. Questions one would hear likely be around when are we going to solve these other problems? Why are we not addressing them?
It’s understandable to have many needs competing for priority to resolve. But let’s build a culture that starts with gratitude when someone offers a solution. Focus on that problem and solution for now. Take time to understand the idea and how it could benefit us. Then thoughtfully discuss how it aligns with other priorities.
Rather than reflexively questioning “Why not something else,” we could say “Thank you, let’s look at how this could help.” Supporting and gently shaping constructive suggestions creates an environment where people feel safe to innovate.
Have you heard this saying — Give your team independence and they will seek guidance. Give your team guidance, and they will seek independence. We’re wired to find what is missing. We find the negatives and can envision failure in every scenario. We can find all the gaps. This is both a strength and a challenge for us.
What if we shifted to solution mode? What if we focused on what we control? What if we paused to ask questions, validate concerns, brainstorm ideas, and trust our peers and leaders more? What if we just asked — what we can do with the facts we have? Identify a possible forward step, even one step. Celebrate that step rather than worry about all the other steps that you need to take. You will address them one by one. But today first celebrate that one step.
With an open and appreciative approach, we can turn proposed solutions into real opportunities. We can build upon them to create even more value. But it starts with giving new ideas a fair chance instead of shutting them down. Let’s try to catch ourselves when we automatically react with “yeah but…” and choose to respond with “yes and!”
Imagine the possibilities if we collaborated instead of brewing alone in isolation. What if we redirected our energy from assuming the worst to focusing on our controls and actionable steps forward? It’s time to break the cycle and embrace change with confidence and action.
Just if… What could we achieve? Pause, ask, validate, and collaborate. The power to shape our future is in our hands.
Until next time, Cheers,
Amit
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