Laughter is the Best Medicine II

The Ultimate Wacky Burger

Photo by Melissa Walker Horn on Unsplash

Ingredients:

• 1 lb ground beef (or tofu if you’re feeling rebellious)
• 1/2 cup chopped onions (optional, but only if you want to smell like a salad)
• 1 egg (to bind the universe)
• 1 tbsp Worcestershire sauce (for that “why did I put this here?” flavor)
• Salt and pepper (to taste, or to make your taste buds cry)
• 4 slices of cheese (because cheese makes everything better, even bad decisions)
• 4 hamburger buns (because “bun” is fun to say)
• 1 avocado (because you’re fancy like that)
• 1 tomato (to pretend you’re eating healthy)
• Lettuce (because “I want to be crunchy”)
• Pickles (because your taste buds need a surprise)
• Ketchup and mustard (to show the world you’re serious about condiments)
• A slice of pineapple (for that sweet-and-sour “what am I even doing?” feeling)
• 1 fried egg (because why not have breakfast for dinner?)

Instructions

1. Prepare Your Meat:

• In a bowl, mix the ground beef with the egg, Worcestershire sauce, and salt and pepper. Squish it all together with your hands like you’re making the world’s weirdest meatball.

2. Form the Patties:

• Shape the mixture into patties. Make them as big or as small as you want, but remember, you’re making a burger, not a meatloaf.

3. Cook the Patties:

• Preheat your grill or pan over medium heat. Cook the patties for about 4–5 minutes on each side or until they’re as done as you like them. Add the cheese slices on top during the last minute to melt them into gooey goodness.

4. Toast the Buns:

• While the patties are cooking, slice the buns in half and toast them on the grill or in a toaster. Be careful not to burn them — you don’t want to end up with “charcoal chic” burgers.

5. Assemble the Madness:

• Start with the bottom bun. Add a layer of lettuce because you want to be healthy and crunchy.
• Place the cooked patty on top of the lettuce.
• Add a slice of tomato, some pickles, and the avocado slices. Feel free to arrange them like you’re a minimalist artist.

6. Add the Pineapple:

• Place a slice of pineapple on top of the patty. If you’re feeling really wild, grill it for an extra minute.

7. The Egg Drop:

• Fry an egg to your liking — sunny side up or over easy. Place it gently on top of the pineapple, so it cascades down like a yolk waterfall.

8. The Condiment Showdown:

• Slather ketchup and mustard on the top bun. If you’re feeling adventurous, throw some hot sauce in there for a kick.

9. Top It Off:

• Place the top bun on your burger masterpiece. If it doesn’t stay together, you’re doing it right!

10. Eat and Enjoy:

• Grab the burger with both hands and take a massive bite. Savor the absurdity of your creation and remember, calories don’t count when you’re having this much fun.

Serve with a side of fries, a pickle, and a dollop of confusion. Bon appétit!

P.S.: If anyone asks you what’s in it, just smile and say, “It’s a burger, but make it wacky!” 😃