Are you an Accidental Diminisher? Becoming self-aware may put you on the path to develop the mind of a Multiplier

Your heart is in the right place and you are well-intended but your actions are having a diminishing impact on your team. There are rumblings of dissatisfaction in your team. Your team is unable to grow and bloom in your shadow. You are mostly likely an accidental diminisher.

These were the words of my manager Diane Fanelli, then SVP/COO for the database & platform division at my company. I had never heard of the term “accidental diminisher”. Diane is a well-respected leader and I considered myself to be very fortunate to work with her. Diane shared this assessment back in 2012 while discussing my year end performance and a possible promotion (that would bring bigger leadership scope along with a new title and higher compensation).

I was deeply saddened to hear that my actions were accidentally diminishing the potential of my team. In my own assessment, I was always positive and dedicated to my team; I had bias-to-action and I moved fast; I shielded my team from corporate shenanigans to reduce distractions; I was always engaged with my team and stakeholders and working very hard to make them successful. I was not doing all this to just further my own career. I wanted each and every team member to realize their full potential and go-on to achieve bigger better things. I considered myself to be a force multiplier. How, what and where were my well-intended leadership practices going wrong?

Diane asked me to pick up this book titled Multiplier by Liz Wiseman to build self-awareness and put myself on the path to grow and develop the mind of a multiplier. Few days with the book, I could very well see why my actions were not matching my intent and delivering counterintuitive impact. Of the six types of accidental diminishers identified in the book, I was checking each and every box:

• I was the idea person who wanted to spark ideas in others but was likely suppressing their creativity.
• I was always-on to share my passion but was likely shutting down everyone around me.
• I was the rapid-responder to keep the team and org moving fast but was likely overwhelming and causing whiplash.
• I was the rescuer who in the process of protecting the team from difficult situations and negative influences didn’t allow my team to face complex situations and learn important life lessons.
• I was the perpetual optimist and cheerleader who wanted my team to climb every mountain but likely didn’t appreciate their struggles and address their anxiety for a possible failure.
• I would assume the hands-on role and draft that presentation or the business case for the GTM launch or code all night to build a PoC to inspire my team but the team didn’t fancy the idea to move at the same pace and increasingly depended on me for 11th hour magic.

I was identified as a comfortable leader to work for but too much like a Banyan tree, which provides shade and protection but under which nothing grows. I was most certainly an Accidental Diminisher.

Over the years, I have made many changes to my leadership approach to minimize the diminishing impact of my leadership actions. Following set of leadership principles have allowed me to develop the mindset of a multiplier:

• Ask not tell (develop an inquirer’s mind)
• Be the last person to speak in an idea debate (take less space and build an inclusive environment)
• Slow down, gather more data, hear more voices (run together to run farther and avoid unnecessary whiplash)
• Get out of their way and make less decisions (enable my team to take charge)
• Avoid vision casting (i.e. influencer’s mind) and empower your team to develop the intellectual muscle
• Keep them honest and anchored (Celebrate successes, sunshine mistakes, learn and look ahead)

Be the Firefly (Credit: Audubon Center)

I have had the good fortune to work in various leadership roles at startups and fast-growing large companies including Facebook and now Netflix and these leadership principles have provided a strong foundation. I have not been successful all the time in leadership roles but over the years I have become a better leader and more importantly a better human.

I recently retook the accidental diminisher quiz and I was delighted to discover that I am “probably not an accidental diminisher” and my journey to develop the mind of a multiplier roars ahead. With the mind of a Multiplier, I am able to practice Banana tree leadership approach allowing me to show care and nurture everyone I engage with.

If you liked this blog, please comment and share your thoughts allowing me and others to learn from your leadership experiences.

Updated the blog on Jan 7th to include my manager’s name after receiving her kind approval.