The Biggest Question:

How Do You Make Friends?

Why Friendships Matter: The Key to Success in Education and Beyond

How do you make friends? Perhaps the biggest question of life. Photo courtesy of the Serwach Collection.

Our daughter was 4, sharing the story of her first day at nursery school: A kid kicked her chair.

I didn’t have any helpful answers except, “Try to make friends.”

A silent minute passed as I tucked her into bed, and this sweet little 4-year-old looked up and innocently asked, “Dad?”

“What, honey?”

“How do you make friends?”

Her words shot through me. I said, “That may be the best question I’ve ever heard.”

The Key to Education, Work, Love — and Life: Relationships

Her question returned to me after the latest mass shooting, the August 27 attack on Annunciation Catholic Church in Minneapolis. It also flashed back during an assessment conference at Michigan State University.

The core question: How do we relate to others? How do we “make friends” and how do we love one another? Including our enemies. And how do we help (or protect ourselves from) the lost souls who have lost all hope?

We now assess and grade everything that can be measured. That’s the essence of social…