Never Miss a Dance Class:
Staying Centered Amongst the Chaos
I was on the 405 freeway, watching the clock tick as my heart sank. I knew I would be late to my daughter’s dance recital and there was nothing I could do but sit in the gridlock, praying to the traffic gods.
Seven years ago, when my son was born, I made a personal commitment to always have a relationship with anyone who came in contact with my kids — from nanny, to daycare to preschool and now elementary school. As those with kids know, this is hard to do in the shuffle of daycare facilities and after school programs. But I knew, much like anything else in life, the relationship these caregivers have with me would impact the relationship that they have with my kids.
What this meant for my work life was leaving early to get there on time, and getting back online in the wee hours of the evening when the kids were in bed.
It also meant getting creative in order to be part of their daily lives. I have had nannies text me in the middle of a board meeting about my kids 1st poop, preschool teachers text me photos of artwork, and summer camp counselors send me notes about the booboo and the icepack. In turn, I have taken work calls at 10pm at night when the systems went down, attended executive offsites while on maternity leave and responded to PR issues while my kids were in the tub. It is what we do when we work and have kids.
But I wouldn’t change it for the world.
I am not perfect, but I have kept my commitment a good 9 out of 10 times. Thank goodness for my loving and understanding husband who is always on standby without complaint. I do homework with my kids, give them baths, read stories, cuddle and talk about their favorite part of the day. Nothing beats an answer like “spending time with you mommy”.
While this is chaotic, and you never quite feel like you are giving anything 100%, I believe that balance actually allows you to give 10x the effort to it all.
This kind of commitment does more than make happy and balanced kids, it also has a slew of professional benefits that sometimes get overlooked:
1. You hone your prioritization & time management skills. When you need to leave early each day, you focus on the most important tasks first. You chunk your day out into segments. For instance, being at the office was about face time with employees and customers, the car was for calls with agency partners and extended family, and evening hours were for answering emails. By forcing prioritization each and every day, I would get a heck of a lot more done. It is odd, but true — the busier your schedule is, the more you are able to get accomplished. Some kind of crazy Jedi capability I think.
2. You lead by example. So often do I see workaholics that breed other workaholics. Leaving to pick up your kids, going to swim class or taking them to a movie shows your employees that it is okay to prioritize family. Treat them like adults and allow them to guide their own time.
3. You stay strong, grounded & moving forward. No matter how bad your day is a child’s smiling face and a hug melts a lot of it away. They have a way of making you more aware of what is most important in life; it is standing right in front of you. They give you strength to face whatever hardships get in your way.
Still, there are those days — like the dance recital days, where no matter what I do — I am a few minutes late. And sure enough, my kid is the one crying in my husband’s arms because her mommy isn’t there. It is hard to swallow. But, when her eyes light up at the recognition of my arrival, it makes it all worthwhile.
After all — isn’t all of this for them anyways?
Michelle Denogean is the former CMO at Edmunds.com & Chief Mommy Officer to two beautiful & crazy kids at home. She is a senior marketing executive, thought leader & practitioner in the world of business strategy, growth marketing, brand communications and digital disruption. Michelle is currently advising and consulting with companies looking to disrupt their respective industries. This post is part of her leadership {playbook}, intended to advise, inspire and mentor leaders at all levels.
Follow Michelle on Twitter: @DenogeanNow
http://michelledenogean.com
