Try positive reinforcement
Bite sized leadership advice
We can be really quick as leaders to spot the flaws, the places where our team needs to improve.
Reflect on the recent discussions you have had with your team members, or the feedback you have given them after a meeting. Did you leap straight into the ‘areas for improvement’ and things that could be done better.
If so, you are missing a trick.
When we are given critical feedback by our leader, the organisational parent whose job it is to keep us safe. It makes us feel less safe, we feel threatened.
When we feel threatened stress endorphins flood our system ready for flight or fight, our defensive wall goes up ready to defend.
If you have ever noticed the way your team withdrew, their eyes glazed over and they became transactional; ‘just tell me what you want me to do’. This is the defensive wall fully raised.
Try positive reinforcement for a change.
If something isn’t working, sometimes it helps to do the opposite. If negative feedback creates closed mindedness, positive feedback serves to do the opposite, creating open mindedness, flexibility and a willingness to take risks and try somthing differently.
Think back to a moment when you received positive feedback or kind words about your performance and the difference you made. You felt good, right?
Try some simple words, and own your opinions. “I really liked it when you …”. Make it a habit. By reinforcing the positive behaviours that you like, your team will do more of them and their confidence will be boosted. Try it!
Once you have created a positive environment you can start to raise awareness of improvements through observing the impact of the area. Soft language may help here too. “I noticed that when you ‘x’, ‘y’ happened, is this what you intended?”.
Keeping things in the open and ‘I value you and am genuinely here to help you’ space.
Be generous and authentic with your feedback, go out of your way to find positives.
Try it, watch your team and their reactions. You will soon see the difference a little genuine positive reinforcement makes
As a bonus item; Try positive reinforcement with your boss too. As a leader, others can be quick to criticise and slow to praise you, and that applies to your boss too. Be the leader you want to be.
If you are uncomfortable receiving (or giving) positive feedback, the trick is to learn (or coach your team) to say ‘Thank-you’, nothing more, just ‘Thank-you’. Do not be tempted to brush away the feedback.
This is part of our Leadership Wizdom series, bite sized leadership advice for leaders who wish to improve their leadership, but don’t have much time. For more indepth articles check out The Change Wizard. We also coach leaders and help their organisations become more adaptable at www.thechangewizard.com
