Why conflict is healthy
Our tribes are important to us.
We like being a valued part of a tribe, whether that is our family, our church, our soccer team or our team at work.
We need strong tribes, they keep us safe.
To protect our tribe we minimise the conflict within that tribe and we discount alternate views. We create a set of behaviours which are socially acceptable to that group.
We are biased to keeping quiet rather than speaking up, especially if we feel that it will upset our position within our tribe.
Thing is, the more we constrain our thinking to what is comfortable to the group the more we lose the diversity of thinking which improves the quality of our problem solving.
Conflict in itself is not bad, it is how you approach disagreements as a tribe. A strong tribe finds debate healthy and conflict constructive.
As a leader, a good sanity check is whether your team are comfortable to challenge or improve your thinking.
For more robust solutions seek out disruptive and diverse opinions, encourage them within your tribe.
Some practical advice
- Focus on the issue and avoid making it personal. It is the idea, not the person.
- Agree the ‘what’, before you discuss the ‘how’. The ‘what’ should be framed in outcome language; tangible and visible.
- Be inquisitive, ask questions which lead to clarification or reflections.
- Reflect. Are your team comfortable challenging your opinions, if not, why not?
This is part of our Leadership Wizdom series, bite sized leadership advice for leaders who wish to improve their leadership, but don’t have much time. For more indepth articles check out The Change Wizard.
We coach leaders and help their organisations become more adaptable at www.thechangewizard.com
