5 Things Powerful Communicators Do
Come on. Admit it. There is the one person who enters a room and causes you to feel just a bit jealous. You’re not jealous because they are richer, funnier, or better looking. There is just something they do. It oozes confidence and breathes ‘powerful’. They don’t have to do much before people are reaching out to help them. They are able to transmit an entire message without uttering a word. You’re a bit jealous because they are still humble in spite of it all and are seemingly unaware of the magnitude of their power. This person has mastered non-verbal communication.
The famous study done by Dr. Albert Mehrabian, author of Silent Messages, finds 93% of our communication is non-verbal. He posits 55% is body language and 38% is tone of voice. Body language expert and author of Snap: Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language, and Charisma, Patti Wood, notes we may exchange up to 10,000 non-verbal cues in under 1 minute. The vast majority of these are unintentional. It is why some people are able to be great investigators or poker players. They have a knack for reading very subtle non-verbals. They may also be able to intentionally transmit powerful non-verbals themselves simply because they are aware of them.
While non-verbals are powerful, combining an awareness of non-verbals with powerful verbal skill can make for an extremely powerful communication experience. People who are able to master both are able to capture our attention quickly and hold it. Some of the greatest sales people are expert non-verbal and verbal communicators.
But, this ‘communication experience’ is momentary. What about those who are able to carry and create a powerful persona over time? John Maxwell is a powerful communicator and he has been able to sustain his communication persona over years and years of pastoring and organizational leadership. What are some of the intentional things he and other powerful communicators do?
- Powerful communicators are vulnerable and real. It’s one thing to be able to tell a good story. However, when you can tell a good story and somehow easily incorporate your own foibles and failures, authenticity becomes apparent in your spoken language as well as your body language. People begin to listen differently because they know you are a human being. You become approachable. Many gurus online would like you to think they have always been rich and famous simply because they outworked everyone else. This is simply not real and people tend to figure it out sooner or later.
- Powerful communicators speak simply. When I was in my doctoral program, I hated the scholarly writing that was pushed at me. I felt big words and complex language impressed only those who used them. But, the majority of people in the world used simple language. I’ve heard some scholars, preachers, professors and business leaders use heady language which seemed only intended to make the listeners feel less than educated. I’m not advocating talking down to people. I’m simply saying the language we use connects people to us. If my intent is to connect, then the language I use should reflect this.
- Powerful communicators do what they say. Some people are powerful orators. This is not the same as being a powerful communicator. The message continues long after they have left the stage. Imagine for a moment you have just seen one of the most powerful speeches on financial responsibility. The speaker went on and on about living within your means and not spending extravagantly because there were greater needs in the world. The speech hits home and you stay afterwards to get a word in with the speaker. You are able to catch up with him in the parking lot just as he is getting into his Bentley. His Bentley?? There is nothing wrong with owning or driving a Bentley. But, that wasn’t the message you just heard. In fact, the message you just heard is all but washed away because of an action you saw as contradictory. Powerful communication is backed up by authentic action.
- Powerful communicators are visible. It’s easy to send emails and even sit behind your desk creating video. But, face to face communication is still the most powerful form of communication there is. If you are a business leader inside of an organization, how much time weekly do you spend connecting with the people in the organization? How much time do you spend “walking the floor?” Being available for conversation, and not just monologue, is critical to building trust.
- Powerful communicators are self-aware. I’ve instituted a disconnect day into my month. On this day, I’m pen and paper except for calls from my wife. I do this because I recognize how easy it is to get caught up in my phone and other digital connections. It’s easy to be absorbed in the information around you and yet be not fully aware of the world around you. I grew up in New York City and became used to my surroundings. But, it wasn’t until I visited some weeks ago that I became emotionally aware of the number of homeless on every street. It was an emotional experience I won’t soon forget because it felt overwhelming to be unable to help them all. I became aware of my own distracted, shield of protection. People walked quickly by and the less fortunate simply blended into the surroundings. I began to remember how it easy is to become jaded when you don’t take time for self-reflection and re-orientation. I became more aware of my own flaws and yet hopeful about my dreams to help create a world where people are empowered to build their ideas.
Powerful communicators have a knack for making groups of people feel as if they were the only individuals in the room. Powerful communicators are aware of the gift they possess but also the responsibility they have to use the gift to create impact.
I intended to write five, but it looks like my pen is pretty powerful today.
What are your tips for communicating powerfully?