Here’s The Big Secret You Don’t Know About Leaders
I didn’t know I was a leader. I didn’t think I had anything to say. And even if I did, I wasn’t so sure that people would listen. I knew I had people in my family who were considered leaders, but I didn’t think it was me. Why?
Well, I had this preconceived image of leaders. They were charismatic. They always had something to say. They were strong. They dressed well. They stood up straight and everybody hung on their every word because they had this magic aura which simply followed them wherever they went. I checked for my aura and I didn’t see it. I looked in the mirror. I checked the x-ray machine at the doctor’s office and my aura was nowhere to be found. So, I wasn’t a leader…except, I was.
I was the first born among my siblings. I did fairly well in school. I played for my choir at church. I read voraciously. I started 3 vocal groups/bands. I wrote music. I led choirs. I organized special days and events at my church. I wrote for my school newspaper. I became supervisor for a mental health organization. Then, I became director for a department. Then, I became a teacher. I helped my students organize talent shows and different events. I started an online music promotion company. We got to the #3 ranking for most visited sites in our genre. I started a web development company. I had accomplished all of this and still didn’t really view myself as a leadership material.
In looking back at the previous paragraph, there is still a level of discomfort with the re-read because there are a lot of “I’s.” The discomfort comes from the constant tension, the constant question being asked internally, “why do I do the things I do?” There is a continual evaluation and desire to not draw personal attention and yet, that is just a part of the package.
“A noble leader answers not to the trumpet calls of self promotion, but to the hushed whispers of necessity.” — Mollie Marti
Every time the word I is mentioned, an internal battle takes place and a leader often wonders about their own authenticity. Am I doing this because somewhere deep down I want accolades or is there a sincere desire to help? This constant tug-of-war is something most people experience. But, they don’t attribute it to a visible leader. Why? Well, leaders just seem confident. They almost always seem like they know what they are doing. If they don’t, we simply call them a bad leader. But, they had the guts to step out so we still call them leader.
They may do or say things which we don’t agree with but they are the same as all of us. They fight internal battles everyday. Some days, they are able to conquer them and other days, the “voice inside” wins. But, the leader in them still takes courageous steps forward knowing they’ll be judged either way.
It may seem like they do it because it’s their job or because they are just supposed to. But, the option always exists to simply step away. And some do. Some quit. Some quit the job or the position. And some quit life…literally. It’s not easy to feel responsibility and criticism in the same moment. It’s even harder to constantly choose to subject yourself to it.
So, the secret of leaders is simply this. They may seem like they have it all together, but they also put their battle gloves on every day.
Leadership is a secret lived out in front of a crowd.
Pre-order my next book, 7 Ways To Know You Were Meant To Lead on Amazon. It launches on November 21st.
Today is Day 74 of my 12 Week Writing Journey.
