How To Quit Life So You Can Win At Life
Quitters never win and winners never quit! Broad sweeping bologna! It might be true when you are in the Olympics but if you are banging your head against a wall, then you might want to quit. Well, unless your ultimate goal was to get a headache.
We are often guilted through life and don’t stop to think about what makes sense for us. I’m all for motivational statements. In fact, I make many of them weekly. It’s a part of what I do for a living. I love what I do. But, there is some wisdom in quitting sometimes. There is wisdom in sizing up what is not working and quitting THAT! However, most of us are afraid because of the associated guilt and how others might perceive us.
At work, you take on every project because if you don’t, you’ll be seen as weak and unable to multitask. You post on social media every morning because the business-coach-expert-thought-leader-marketing-maven-ninja-guru-guy told you it’s the only way to grow your business. You keep pursuing a relationship you KNOW is toxic because you are afraid of the alternative…being alone. You freak about your email not being at inbox zero because you might miss something or it would make you seem disorganized.
On their own, none of these are terrible things…except the toxic relationship piece. Quit that immediately. But, we don’t often enough take the time to evaluate what we are doing because changing to something else means shaking the shack, stirring the nest, rocking the boat, learning something new and dealing with conflict. The bottom line is it’s hard.
I’m saying YOU but I’m talking to ME. I’ve done all of these things and more. I can’t tell you how to fix every single thing that goes wrong. But, I can tell you some things I’ve done to gain the traction I needed. Most of them involved quitting.
1.I quit saying yes to everything. I’m multi-talented. It’s a curse. I’ve got many interests and some days I want to do them all because I think I’m helping people. But, at some point during the mad jumble for sanity, I get annoyed because I’ve gotten tired of chasing people around or because others are not as passionate about something as I am. I lose patience because I’ve got 7 other things to do and the lack of urgency is holding me up. But, I realized it wasn’t their fault. It was mine. I took it on and I didn’t have to. I’m learning to do less so I can be great at more.
2. I quit letting email rule me. I love the new Google Inbox because it lets me pin important things quickly. I ignore everything else. I used to get caught up in the promos, the social media groups and all the other stuff coming through my email. On my phone, I used to get nutty because if the little notifications bubble said 600, I felt like I might be missing out on something important.
Here’s what I did. I took that email off my phone and only added the main business email. I put in in the native Google app and didn’t set notifications. So, I couldn’t see the numbers. Then, I went through my emails at a specific time. If I could respond to it quickly, I would. Otherwise, it would get pinned for later when I was doing my replies. Some days, I would miss one or two. And oddly, I continue to live. It feels good.
3. I quit spending time on my weaknesses. I’m a speaker and a writer. I do those well. I suck at marketing. I’m not great at filling in all the details of my own strategy. I can do it for others. Terrible at it for myself. I would literally sit in front of the computer, getting sucked into distraction after distraction because I was perseverating on something I was no good at. Should you ignore all of your flaws? Of course not. I’m not great at planning parties or giving cards but my wife loves ’em so, I’d better figure out a way to make it happen.
I joined Toastmasters. I started to blog. I wrote a book. I started to write articles. I started reading other books and articles I liked. I started to focus on getting back into radio and podcasting. I’m pursuing the things I’m good at and seeking help for the rest.
4. I quit judging my journey by where others were. One of the worst things about social media is you see the good things other people post. And before you know it, the posts subtly create invisible measurements against which you compare yourself. Marsha is putting on an event so she must be doing amazing in her coaching business. Jerry is on a radio show and so he must have a phenomenal speaking business. Erick just got accepted into Huffington Post, so he’s got crazy connections you don’t have.
Nope. I quit looking at that.
“Stop comparing your behind the scenes to everyone else’s highlight reel” — Steven Furtick
You can make a list of 50 things to quit. But, the bottom line is life gets better when you quit doing what isn’t working and you start doing what does. Work in your strengths. Honor your gifts. Tell your story. Laugh out loud. Live your best life and Lead with purpose!
Today is Day 41 of a 12 Week writing journey. Here is a post from yesterday:
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