The 2017 New Cast of Television
From Jude Law’s papal decadence to Queen Reese reclaiming her throne, 2017’s starting five is here to knock 2016 off its perch
2016 was a mountain range of emotions chalk full of peaks and valleys and atop nearly all of those peaks were TV shows. 2017’s freshmen series have a lot of work to do to keep pace with sophomore seasons of Atlanta, Insecure, Stranger Things, Westworld, Fleabag, and Master of None.
This is the starting five of new series ready to hold us over until the next installments of the aforementioned new favorites hit the table.
‘Legion’ — FX, premieres February 8th, 2017
FX’s new Marvel show could be called Legion: An X-Men Story. For much of the comic book adaptation genre, the costumes change but the story remains the same: a person gets powers, the person is troubled by their powers, the person realizes they are supposed to have their powers, the person realizes they are not alone.
I get it, I like it, and I’m sick of it. Having said that, I can’t wait for Legion.
A significant trend in genre-based content is world-building; it’s a technique which asks, “if this is true what else is true?” Legion takes place in the same universe as the X-Men, the main character is a mutant and has nothing to do with heroes battling villains. The main character, David Heller, is a mutant and doesn’t know he has mutant powers. The interesting twist is that everyone around him does. There are way more questions about what this show is than there are answers, which for a genre built on telling its audience everything you need to know about the project the trailer, is the most refreshing development since Spider-Man’s web shooters became organic.
Noah Hawley, the showrunner behind FX’s Fargo, is at the helm of this project which is all the reason a TV connoisseur should need to trust in this series. The protagonist being the son of the most famous mutant on earth, diagnosed with schizophrenia, and locked away in various psychiatric hospitals throughout his life so both he and the world can’t misuse his powers is just icing on the cake. The inclusion of unreliable narrator storytelling tactics would be the ice cream on the side.
X-Factors
- Potential for Lame X-Men Cameo (Professor X): High
- Potential for Exciting X-Men Cameo (Wolverine, Deadpool): Very Low
‘TABOO’ — FX, premieres January 10th, 2017
Actual, legitimate movie star Tom Hardy threatens to pummel you through your television in Taboo, a new miniseries from BBC ONE and FX. Hardy, an honest to God movie star, and his father, a man called Chips, created the story of James Delaney, a British adventurer, and agent of the East India Company, who returns home to England from Africa with a bag full of stolen diamonds and a heart full of vengeance.
Co-creator Steven Knight describes the role of the East India Company- the monopolistic British trade and exploration organization with charmingly named ships like Red Dragon and Nemesis — as, “the CIA, the NSA, and the biggest, baddest multinational corporation on earth.” Hardy plays a former agent of the EIC who comes home with a bone to pick with his employers and does so in the only way he knows how — WITH INTENSITY!
Tom Hardy only has to play Tom Hardy, it just depends on what level Tom Hardy gets ordered. He was Bane in The Dark Knight Rises- the man who broke Batman in half- and it was the least intense he has ever been on screen. As this preview prominently features Tom Hardy delivering Shakespearean soliloquies on par with, “Oh, full of scorpions is my mind” and Tom Hardy in full body warpaint, I have a feeling Taboo delivers Max-Level Intensity Tom Hardy for eight teeth grinding episodes.
X-Factors
- Potential for Partial Full Frontal Male Nudity: High
- Potential for Death by Kitchen Utensil: Very High
‘The Young Pope’ — HBO, premieres January 15th, 2017
Samples of dialogue from The Young Pope will be all over DatPiff in 2017, I guarantee it. Continuing the trend of US and UK based cable companies teaming up to produce Summit-the-Peak TV, Sky Atlantic, Canal+, and HBO are about to collectively drop The Young Pope mixtape.
Jude Law plays Pope Pius XIII, the brash, bold, American, and Machiavellian YOUNG POPE (real name Lenny Belardo?!?!?!) who is ready to ascend to the top of the Vatican and scream, “KICK OUT THE JAMS, MOTHERFUCKERS!”
I have a million questions, and the answer to each is the same:
- What if the processional hymn at a Catholic Mass was “I Am A God” and the recessional is “Ultralight Beam? The Young Pope
- What if Joffrey Baratheon grew up to be The High Sparrow? The Young Pope
- What if we made Church the sexiest thing on earth? The Young Pope
- Where can I see a man carried around on a mobile throne like a Roman Emperor? The Young Pope
- Where can I see a British actor do an American accent but also dress and behave like Prince John from Disney’s Robin Hood: The Young Pope
The future slate of HBO original series will not be to be able to fill the army of White Walkers sized hole left in their schedule when Game of Thrones completes its run, which is fine. HBO ran into the same problem when The Sopranos ended in 2007. The Premium Cable Machine will roll on. But until the heir to the Iron Throne shows up, I am okay with the sugar, sweet, saccharine efforts like The Young Pope and its college of cardinals Westworld, Divorce, Insecure, Silicon Valley, and whatever becomes the next True Detective.
X-Factors
- Potential for Young Pope quotes dominating social media: Very High
- Potential for people calling each other “Your Excellency” as a result of The Young Pope: Very High
- Potential for James Cromwell and Diane Keaton being the Uncle Junior and Livia Soprano of 2017: VERY High
‘Big Little Lies’ — HBO, premieres February 19th, 2017
This past summer, The Night Of grabbed the TV conversation by the throat by watching the ripples from one tragic event spread out the course of eight episodes. My theory is Big Little Lies will exhibit the same type of ripple effect only in a much different socio-economic pool.
The cast is the absolute best of any television show to premiere in the last two years — Reese Witherspoon, Nicole Kidman, Shailene Woodley, Zoe Kravitz, Laura Dern, Alexander Skarsgard, and Adam Scott is a murder’s row. Set against the backdrop of warring upper-class moms in Monterey, CA, and peppering in all the built-in drama with what looks like a murder cover-up is the type of acidic splash we need to cut through the super rich flavors Girls and The Young Pope leave on the palette.
X-Factors
- Potential for Reese channeling Tracey Flick: Extremely High
- Potential for wishing this cast somehow had room for Rachel McAdams: Extremely High
- Potential for everyone being guilty of something: Extremely High
‘The Deuce ‘— HBO, premiere date TBD
I hope this punk rock era New York City HBO drama fairs better than the last punk rock era New York City HBO drama. My expectations were sky high for Vinyl, and all of those hopes have been transferred to The Deuce.
Set in Times Square when Times Square was bad news, The Deuce is centered on the rise of the porn industry in New York City, its affects on the culture at the time, the growing epidemic of HIV, escalation of violence, and the real estate ups and downs that followed. You know- the good stuff.
James Franco and Maggie Gyllenhaal anchor a cast which includes The Karate Kid as a vice cop, the writer’s room includes George Pelecanos, David Simon (both from The Wire and Treme), Richard Price (most recently of The Night Of), Megan Abbott, and Lisa Lutz, and Michelle MacLaren directed the pilot. If her name rings a bell, it’s because she directed every outstanding episode of Breaking Bad, Game of Thrones, The Walking Dead, and Westworld.
Granted, Vinyl was produced by Terrence Winter and Martin Scorsese and sported a cast which included Bobby Cannavale, Ray Romano, and Juno Temple, and I could barely make it through the pilot. The Deuce deals with the seediest New York City underbelly in modern history, so maybe the depths to which this series is poised to sink is the missing ingredient in the next great HBO cultural exploration.
X-Factors
- Potential for James Franco overdoing it while playing twins: Sky High
- Potential number of think-pieces comparing Maggie Gyllenhaal’s character in The Deuce to Maggie Gyllenhaal’s character in The Honorable Woman: 1,000,000
- Potential for telling your mom not to watch The Deuce: Extremely High
