How I Avoided Being a Gender Pay Gap Stat

By Erin Schnair

Like many other women, negotiating compensation is not something that comes naturally to me. With the last job offer I accepted several years ago at a publishing company, I hadn’t negotiated at all — and I’d been beating myself up over it ever since. So when an unexpected job opportunity came along, I was determined to not again be taken by a low-ball first offer. I didn’t want to fall into the all-too-common trap of being yet another woman accepting less than she’s worth.

The opportunity came about through a networking event, when I was a year into my adventure as a solopreneur writer and editor. At the event, I connected with Marcus*, a successful corporate professional. Marcus was on the communications team at TelecommX, a large utilities company, and they had a full time opening. As a firm believer in always being on the prowl for the next opportunity, I figured why not give it a shot.

Through Marcus’s referral, I applied for a job at TelecommX. Marcus was incredibly generous and coached me through the interview process. He offered advice about salary negotiations. “You’ll get what you want”, said Marcus about broaching the tricky compensation topic.

Finally I reached the final interview stages. It was time to discuss money. All the while, I kept Marcus’s advice in the back of my head “You’ll get what you want”.

The initial offer from TelecommX was on the lowest end of my range (the recruiter and I had discussed a general range early in the process). While the salary itself was almost double what I’d made previously, I swallowed hard and held myself back from accepting the offer right away. This was my moment to not fall into the gender pay gap trap and stand up for my worth.

Faking a boost of confidence, I replied to the recruiter “I was thinking it’d be closer to $X.” The amount I countered was on the higher end of the range we had discussed. Again, I thought of Marcus’s advice “You’ll get what you want”.

The recruiter went through an attempted guilt trip, saying things like “normally we don’t negotiate offers”, and that he would have to check with the manager and get back to me. I knew the recruiter’s response about negotiation couldn’t be true, at least based on Marcus’s experience. So I decided to ride out the offer and see what they would come back with.

After checking with the manager, the recruiter called me back and suggested a compromise. They were willing to give me a one-time signing bonus, which was not as much as I’d initially suggested. It also included a few strings attached, like a set amount of time I had to stay at the company to keep the bonus. Granted, I’ll have no way of knowing if this was a common tactic to not raise the base rate or a genuine offer, but it certainly wasn’t “getting what I wanted”.

When TelecommX wouldn’t bend to change the base salary, I solidified my thinking that this wasn’t the right environment to me. I knew that the base salary, and not the one-time bonus, would determine scheduled pay raises and my future valuation at the company. Other warning signs — like the fact that all the VPs and most of the managers were men — told me this traditional environment was a place a woman might have to fight to thrive.

Granted, I can’t confirm they didn’t adjust the salary simply because of my gender. But I can’t help but think that a self-assured guy such as Marcus had an entirely different experience. Perhaps some of it had to do with my negotiating techniques, which were my best attempt to be bold despite no real prior experience. This in itself raises the serious issues women face in the professional world. We may, like I had in the past, avoid negotiating because we think of it more as a confrontation rather than a perfectly acceptable discussion to reach a compromise. Further, we may lack mentors who coach us how to broach the awkward compensation subject. And if we aren’t chummy with the male bosses, it makes it that much harder to get raises and other favors down the line.

In the end, I decided not to accept the offer. I wasn’t ready to enter what might have been a challenging environment for me to get ahead as a woman. A tacked on signing bonus just couldn’t trump being my own boss.

The experience left with me with several takeaways:

1. Don’t be afraid of “no”. Even if a job opportunity is perfect in every sense, ask for more money when the offer time comes. The worst that can happen is the company says no and the original offer still stands. Chances are that you’ll at least get something in return, as I did with the signing bonus.
2. Come up with a $ amount for what you want and then pad the salary/rate a bit more. When I speak to other professional women about negotiating salaries, it more often seems like we don’t think we’re worth very much. We often take the first offer because we think it is what we’re worth, like I did many years ago. My personal trick for getting over this is to come up with a number for what I want to get paid, and then add a bit to that. Again, the worst that can happen is the company says “no”.
3. If you’re a freelancer, give yourself a raise every year. If you work for a company, ask for one. I’ve heard from other female freelancers who have difficulty raising their hourly rates. At the same time, we fully anticipate that inflation pushes up prices on everything from our rent to iPhones. No client or company is going to complain about paying you less. You have to advocate for yourself to get paid more.
4. Reach out to others for advice about money. In retrospect I should have pressed Marcus more on what, exactly, he did to “get what he wanted.” I should have asked for specific negotiating tactics from him and from other professional, successful women I know.
5. Trust the warning signs and cling to your own path. When you think you might be stepping into a challenging environment, you probably are. While TelecommX may very well be a decent place to work, the negotiating process didn’t leave me feeling confident about my prospects. Sure I could have taken the job anyway and worked my a$* off to get ahead as a woman. But it just wasn’t worth me giving up my entrepreneurial dreams.

*Name and company details changed for privacy.

Erin Schnair believes writing inspires action. She is a freelance content writer specializing in nonprofit communications and EdTech. Stop by erinschnair.com to learn more.